Hey everyone! Brian here! I know I haven't been replying to many of the posts that have made recently. I've just been reading and trying to make sense of what people are saying and how they are feeling. I can relate to a lot of what's being said. For such a long time, I hated myself, I didn't want to do anything or go anywhere. I felt like I would never be loved or be able to give love in return. I wondered why I was still living and I contemplated suicide. I still have suicidal thoughts everyday.
But, I realized that I've done some pretty neat things in my life. I've been able to travel a little bit. I've been to England and Ireland, and I would love to go back there eventually. I am able to go up into Canada whenever I want, since I live really close to the border. I came to realize that a lot of what my inner voices tell me is bunk. I'm a decent person, or so I've been told lol. I realize that I do have a lot to offer. I also know that it's ok to be single. Society tells us that if we're not in a relationship, then there's something wrong with us. That's horse crap (sorry for my language lol). Even though there are times when I feel that I'll never find Ms. Right, I'm not giving up hope. I'm not going to rush into a relationship because I don't want to end up in one where I'm miserable. In short, I've come to understand three things in life:
1) Things could always be worse than they are
2) It's ok to be me. I don't need to pretend to be something I'm not
3) Life is too short to rush through things, so I'm happy being in the slow lane lol
Cancer has also taught me that no fight is hopeless. You have to fight against the demons and doubts. We all have them. Sometimes, they tend to dominate our thinking and make us feel like nothing. But we have to fight. Sometimes, you have to fight a little more when things look bleak. Most importantly, take time to smell the roses. All too often, we rush through the day, wanting things to go fast so we don't have to wait. I'm here to tell you that it's not the destination that's important, it's the journey getting there. Here's a song to listen to when you feel at your lowest. It always picks me up. Have a Happy Sunday!