New! In need of support!

[Ridingthewave2023]

I'm new. Never realized I had anxiety and depression from PTSD until a year and a half ago when I attempted suicide. After months of residential and outpatient TX, I changed my life. Moved to my dream location, taking time for me to experience and enjoy life! All is beautiful but every now and then, that depression rears it's ugly head and my anxiety blows up. I worry about how i can be so sad when i have alot going for me. I worry about how I hurt family and friends by my mistake and it cycles. I worry they think I'm selfish for moving away. I worry that they worry about me. And then I get depressed again. Long story short, I'm happy that this forum exists. Thank you.

[OkayishMoose]

I also struggle with anxiety and depression from ptsd, but have had a pretty different journey in some respects. About a year and a half after my ptsd became a clear problem rather than just something present that I could shoulder through and try to pretend didn't exist I moved and that ended up being a really negative thing for me. Different people have different situations and environments and we recover and find what's best for ourselves in different ways. I've been dealing with ptsd for almost a decade now and the severity of symptoms comes in waves. Overall it has gotten a lot better though, but it's still tough. I also struggle with worrying about how my ptsd and the way I've handled it at times has hurt everyone I love. Talking with those people and several therapists over the years has helped me tremendously both in terms of helping improve my ptsd symptoms and in being able to repair some of the damaged relationships.

PTSD is tough. I don't think anyone handles it as well as might be possible. It's tough not to have some maladaptive behaviors we'll regret. I think we just have to try to do what we need to improve and do the best we can, even if that's still not great all the time. My experience has been that things have gotten a lot better over time, but it has been slow and not at all a smooth or steady process. Sometimes things get rough; what you said about things cycling is incredibly relatable to me. I've found though that with time, effort, and and support from friends, family, and healthcare professionals things have gotten better, even if it isn't a smooth process. I hope things get better for you too and that you are able to hang in there when it's rough and trust that things can get better.

[Ridingthewave2023 in reply to OkayishMoose]

Thank you. I guess I still get annoyed with myself for having those dips and valleys. I set high standards for myself and need work on self compassion. I find it hard to rely on family and friends as I still keep that 24/7 smile on my face and wait until therapy or Journaling to release.

[AnxiousSilver]

" I worry about how i can be so sad when i have alot going for me. I worry about how I hurt family and friends by my mistake and it cycles."

I do this too.

One things that "sometimes works" (and it's hard to do in the heat of the moment) is practice gratitude.

It can be as something as simple as saying I am grateful that I have air in my lungs.

.

But at the same time, I know that worry mixed in with depression is hard.

I suffer from GAD, and I have my depression swings too.

I am also far from recovered, but I have an idea what you are feeling.

[AnxiousSilver]

"Long story short, I'm happy that this forum exists."

A lot of us are.

.

BTW, welcome.

This is a good and supportive community.

[Dolphin14]

I have PTSD also. I totally understand how you are feeling.

This is a very supportive community

🐬

[Midori]

Welcome to the group!

[Hidden]

hello and welcome to the group!

[Mac2022]

I am very pleased your attempt was unsuccessful as was mine as a teen. Had that attempt proven successful, so many people whom I love would have been eternally decimated and todays blessings would not exist.