Lately

[alexflet]

I’ve been feeling hopeless. I have suicidal thoughts, although I would never kill my self. I still think about how terrible this world is, how awful people are, how unkind and hurtful they can be, and how I think things would be better if I could just disappear from this world. I have an incredible amount of compassion - and I think that’s my problem because I see all of these terrible people and these terrible things happening and it BREAKS my heart. It literally physically hurts me inside to know that I can never change this world or how certain people are. I feel hopeless, this world is hopeless, people are hopeless. I hate feeling this way.

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When I was younger I used to cry my eyes out to my mother over the same reasons. She would have to remind me that I am not a superhero.

I have found that changing my perception of the "world" helped me feel more at ease about what I can influence and change. I deleted all of my social media because it is only a window into the bigger world that I cannot effect... but in my smaller world, the one that I am constantly interacting with, meaning the city I live in, peers, friends, family etc... that's the world I focus on. That's the one that's going to change with my influence if I work hard at it. Perhaps refocusing on something that is tangible for you will help soothe you. Volunteer. Pay more attention to the way people light up when they talk to you. Do things you enjoy and share that with people you care about, there might be people who want to do what you do but don't know where to start. You have a world within yourself. Focus on that one and share it. Create relationships with other worlds that are alike. Then you have yourself a community with more harmony... and with more people, comes louder voices.

If you wanted to effect the world on the greater scale, youre going to need these people regardless. I hope you find your light.

[Agora1]

Hi alexflet, as long as you feel that why, things will stay the same. We might not be able to change the world on a mass level but changes start from our home base. It can take but one person to start the ball rolling in the right direction. Rather than putting all your energies into Negative Thoughts, why not do something positive. Something that can change the way we all perceive each other. Show them that all people aren't hopeless. There are caring people out there. You can make a difference with your incredible amount of compassion. Pay that compassion forward. It doesn't have to be very big, sometimes a smile could turn someone's day positive.

The other day as I was shopping, I pulled my cart over to the side aisle because I saw a woman coming down the aisle in an electric wheel chair. I gave her a big smile as we passed and she thanked me and then I wished her to have a good day. The smile that I received. Someone cared about her. Someone acknowledge her as another human being. It starts out small but we need to get back to the basics of caring for each other.

What can you do to make this world a better place? At least it might help with the anger and hopelessness you feel. x