Alone, invisible, angry

[Kanstop]

I feel like I was a victim in my past relationship. I was ignored and talked down to so often I would get depressed because my ex was depressed. Being treated like I wasnt there and my feelings didn’t matter for years took a toll. Now I’m in a new relationship and find my anxiety over every little situation causes so much anger and aggression that I don’t think before I react.

[Hidden]

Maybe when the anger comes up ...try counting to 10...sure hope this of some help! I'm here for you! Love & Peace!!!!

[CazO46]

Hi, the fact that you recognise what is going on is really good . I think being aware is the first step to change. You have a good understanding of why you do what you do so you can start to think about how you can react diffently. All is not lost, take care

[Hidden]

Could your past relationship be now effecting your new partnership. If this is the case you need to consider your needs and an understanding of your partner.

You are in a different situation and you need to give this person a chance to prove themselves. If you feel you are broken it may be possible for you to get some CBT. Discuss your problems and feeling with your GP.

You need to move on

BOB

[fauxartist]

Sometimes when we don't have issues from our past experiences resolved, we tend to repeat them. I had a very emotionally absentee mother who was incapable of showing love. It effected how I saw relationships as a young adult....I found myself getting into relationships with 'emotionally unavailable' people....because it was what I knew. But because I did have feelings and emotions for people...I got hurt having my needs ignored and it slowly built up resentments in me...and that can turn into anger. Anger is not always a bad emotion....but if it's for reasons of unresolved issues....it can damage a potentially healthy relationship because those reasons for why you get angry have not been dealt with or acknowledged and worked through such as what your would do in therapy.

[gerg]

Experiences that are good or bad are a gift. They are given so that we can learn to survive. If you perceive yourself as a victim you may not benefit from the lessons offered. Sometimes we do this so we can continue our lesson.

I view every experience as an opportunity to make change. There are certain things that I don’t want to experience again, so I change what needs to be changed to lead me down a different path.

The past is just data that is there to help us in the now. Not all gifts are what we would want, but it’s the thought that counts.

[AZ1970]

Kanstop-you have unresolved trauma from your past relationship and you are taking it out on your partner. Please get counseling for this before you damage your current relationship. Your current partner will never be able to make up for what was done to you. You have every reason to be angry. Please find healthy ways to cope with it.