My husband and I split up in December. One of the holidays we enjoyed every year together was Independence Day. Our home had an awesome view of fireworks from our deck.
Now I'm sitting in a small apartment listening to the fireworks go off by myself. I miss our time together, I miss our home. These are the things that keep throwing me back into my depression and anxiety.
Sorry your having a bad night. I hope things get better for you as time continues.
Dear 10shunDreamer, I hear your pain and I'm sorry. Life has a habit of opening old wounds with sounds, sights, music and places we shared with a significant other. There is no easy way around this except time. Time to heal. It's hard giving up thoughts of memorable times. I'm glad you felt comfortable in sharing your sadness on this special holiday. Sending you a virtual hug and letting you know we understand and we care. xx
Thank you Agora1.
xx We're always here to listen...
I know and empathize, it hurts, especially loneliness on a holiday. Last year I lost my mother to old age. She enjoyed July 4th. And here I am at the holiday thinking of and missing her.
Perhaps allow yourself a good cry. Tears are quite cleansing and helps to let out the bottled up sadness.
Thank you for sharing. You are not alone.
Thank you MrZee. Why am I fighting crying?
Crying is not a fight. In regards to loss, it’s a sign of strength (in my opinion). Crying is the soul wanting a cleansing. For instance, I had my biweekly therapy appointment this morning. I did quite a bit of crying, especially when we talked about my fears and social anxiety.
So in regards to your loss of a partner, a good view of fireworks, etc., you are grieving
All in all, let yourself cry.
Best,
MZ
Thank you MrZee. Your words are more helpful than you can imagine.
You're right.
A victory facing anxiety!
Saying goodbye. 
Had a bad night
Having a rough time...
Having a bad panic attack...
