Tried my own advice

[Passionatebutterfly]

Had a bad experience with my new therapist and after i got home i was so mad that i went into this trance of depression that lasted until now. I finally got up enough motivation to follow some of my own advice and i was fine after a nap for 10 min. Now im in this hatred rage where i want the world to blow up since im stuck living here cus im too chicken shit to commit suicide. Im starting to think that all the treatment that ive had in my stupid county has been wrong and not helpful but infact has kept me worse off since i started treatment in 1999. Montgomery county, pa has no idea how to help us and yet all these programs keep getting funding which is a waist in my eyes. What can i do to show this county that they are keeping us sick instead of making us better? It puts me in a rage thinking how much money they are waisting with bad and pointless treatment. I need therapy just to help me come to peace with how bad montco has messed me up all these years instead of helping me. I wonder if theres others who feel the same way i do about their counties treatment programs and waisted funds.

[Madison10]

I’m sorry you had a bad experience with your therapist. Take some very deep breath and it really helps. Put any thoughts of suicide out of your mind and think of things you are thankful for.

There are incompetent people in every field. I have been to a lot of therapy and am on medication. I had a bad experience also. I can’t find a group or therapy. I have been using a directory for my county. I somewhat feel the same way. You hear there is all kinds of help then can’t find any. When you are able to relax and have a good nights sleep your mind will be clearer and maybe things won’t be so bad

[Passionatebutterfly in reply to Madison10]

I have researched so many awesome programs in my county and yet im not in any of them. I only get the basics which is a stupid psychiatrist for 2 min a month and a stupid therapist once a month. I have been reaching out in my county is 1999 and i feel very neglected. Like im not important. I have so many diagnosis' and underwent a year long psychosis and yet no one is helping me get longterm stable treatment in one of their awesome programs. I almost feel there is no awesome program and that they are just words to look good for funding purposes and they arent really real. I honestly feel lile they dont exsist. I have so much rage and sorry that my county fails to treat me that i seriously need treatment just to overcome all this neglect. I dont know. Its a lost cause. It will never get better and i will continue to stay sick forever in my county. I need to move to florida or something. Or even the next county over.

[Hidden]

If they really helped people they would be out of a job. They string you along to justify their job. You really can’t count on anyone to really help you if you are mentally ill. You have to dig deep down in yourself and do it yourself. That’s the conclusion I have come to.

[Passionatebutterfly in reply to Hidden]

I absolutely agree.