Struggling with Fatherhood

[leighro322]

Hi everyone, thanks for reading, I'm new here. I've never been diagnosed with depression but I have been dealing with the symptoms for most of of my 31 years. I am a relatively new dad, my only child is 15 months old. I am having a very hard time handling all of the duties that come with fatherhood in addition to being my family's sole income earner. My wife is burned out from her duties with our daughter and isn't really able to help me. I am getting very depressed and it is affecting how I interact with my family. I see only work and responsibilty around me and I have lost joy in most of the things I do. I only see examples of nice things that I no longer have access to. I'm in a position with little support- I live abroad and both my family and my wife's family live far away. I joined this group to hear from others who might be able to relate.

All the best,

Eric

[Hidden]

Welcome to the site! Being a parent is such a challenging job..I'm sure you're doing the best you can. Are you getting any help from a Dr.? I would suggest you do that first! I wish you all the best! I'm here for you! Peace for you!!!

[Marshall64]

I can relate. I'm a single full time father and had to work full time. My daughter is now 12.

Kids get easier as they get older. Right now your daughter is totally dependent. If your wife is burnt out, do you have anybody from either side of the family to help out occasionally to give you a break? My parents did it for me.

Kids grow up fast. I have depression which kept me worrying and my head in the past. I wish I would have been more in the "now".

Kids are a blessing. You and your wife might be overwhelmed and there is no shame in that because all parents go through it. Wishing the best for you..

[Rpan]

Hi Eric, this is very normal to feel how you are right now. Dealing with the stress of being a father, husband and sole income earner is a lot. Try not to feel guilty about not feeling much happiness and joy at this time. Try to praise yourself and your abilities. Your in a time of transition and growth.

[SuZQ154]

Glad you are here and are opening up about your feelings. You are dealing with many responsibilities and taking care of others without much help. That is a lot! When we start to get honest about our situations is often when we start to come up with solutions.

When I am struggling, often it is because of my relationship with God and my husband. I am reading Gottman's "The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work." It states good marriages have certain components: a couple shares with each other, puts a "positive spin" on situations, turns "toward" each other, are influenced by each other and takes one another's side, solves problems by soft startups, soothing oneself, and finding common ground, and lastly are vision-minded and look toward their future. I have been trying them and they work! The book gave me hope! Hope that it gives you hope, too! Blessings!