Grey day

[Kate2411fl]

So todays my birthday. It was a crappy day. Ive cried through most of it. I cant tell you if it was truly a bad day or if its my dark interpretation of everything that makes it seem that way. I hate everyone and everything.

[LittleMsSunshine]

So sorry Kate,

Birthdays can be rough but try to make it to tomorrow, then the day after and so on. We have to fight hun, we have to seek help and take care of ourselves. I know it's hard, I know, I struggle too but you are precious and worthy of life, so fight. Don't give up.

[Kate2411fl in reply to LittleMsSunshine]

Thank you. You are right. I made it to today and today seems a bit brighter. Now i feel incredibly guilty though because i stress out everyone around me with my unhappiness. Does anyone else struggle with that? The guilt i mean. Im busy doing damage control and giving myself peptalks about how its all going to be different now. Im going to smile and be happy. Im not going to let lite things send me over the edge. Im going to be fun to be around. I can do this. I can suck it up. Because i feel so guilty for making the people i love miserable.

Theres a voice in my head that asks "do they feel guilty for triggering you in the first place. Do they feel guilty for not trying one little bit. For being so selfush and lacking empathy?"... But i have to shut out that voice. I have to find a way to love and be loved. Before i run everyone away from me.

[LittleMsSunshine in reply to Kate2411fl]

Don't feel guilty for sharing how you felt. People can't know unless you tell them. And besides, you are not choosing to feel depressed or anxious or whatever you may feel. These are REAL mental health conditions which have been scientifically proven and studied for years, no different from high blood pressure or diabetes. We don't expect people who suffer with those ailments to walk around feeling guilty about their conditions, do we?

And neither should you or me or anyone here. We are battling a disease, a mental illness and we all deserve quality health care and positive relationships with friends and family in order to cope and get better. So don't feel guilty when you have a good day, just feel grateful and enjoy life

[Kate2411fl in reply to LittleMsSunshine]

Thank you. I appreciate your response!

[Hidden]

i don’t celebrate my birthday. It’s the day everything went down the toilet.