Guilt vs. Shame

[mary_alice]

Guilt is "I did something bad".

Shame is "I am bad".

I have a hard time distinguishing the two; I feel like I always go to shame first and berate myself because of who I am (who I choose to be, what I can't help, and what I am a product of). I think it has to do with generalizing, i.e. if I do one thing wrong or make a mistake then I have done all things wrong and made immense, irreparable mistakes. It would be cool to be lenient with myself and forgive myself like I do other people. It makes logical sense, but sometimes I just can't connect it. I feel like it puts me in a vulnerable position because I am more prone to apologize over and over again and admit fault to things that may not be my doing; it makes it easy for people to use or manipulate me.

Anyone else? lol

[gerg]

Regret, guilt, and shame, such a great topic.

I view regret and guilt as being mindful, and in turn healthy. Shame, on the other hand, is soulful and toxic.

I like your breakdown of shame and guilt at the beginning of your post. I took it one step further and added correct and incorrect to my views. Right and wrong are moral judgements, as are good and bad,correct and incorrect are factual. If the answer given is incorrect, there is no shame involved.

It goes to “say what you mean, and mean what you say”, less confusion for everyone involved.

This topic has a lot involved and it is an important part of my program.