I have a trip tomorrow morning at 5 am until sunday. I have gone over again and again every good thing and fun thing about the trip. But I can't stop freaking out and stressing. Earlier, around 3 I had a panic attack and I haven't had one in so long it was awful and I haven't been calm since. I will be with family but I'm really not comfortable with them at all. I can't calm down or stop thinking about it, I really feel like i have tried every technique. I'm not good with traveling and especially with my dad and sister who i am not close with nor am comfortable with. I am also leaving being my mom and boyfriend who i am really comfortable with which is also hard. I don't know exactly what I'm saying/asking for but anyone relate? Any tricks?
Travel/ Separation Anxiety - Anxiety and Depre...
Travel/ Separation Anxiety
Sometimes anxiety and panic can be misplaced excitement. We get so excited waiting to do something we make ourselves anxious. We go over every detail and worry the whole time while waiting. It’s called anticipatory anxiety. You want the event to be over but it is way in the future so your mind starts to scare you with every little detail.
I am so glad you have written this today. I am facing the very same thing. I have never been good about traveling but as an adult the anxiety for traveling got so bad I stopped and haven't traveled more than an hour and a half from my home in 17 years. I am now facing having to travel and I have been dragging my feet. My mother is in another state in an assisted living facility and last week she fell and broke her hip. The surgery resulted in her having a stroke and now she is on hospice care. She is almost 93 years old with severe dementia and for over 10 years I was her caregiver. Three years ago we moved her closer to my sister because I couldn't deal with the stress of being her caregiver and working 3 to 4 part time jobs. I really said good bye to her when we moved here to Pennsylvania and with the dementia she wasn't no longer the same person I had grown up with. Tonight I got a phone call from my sister and it looks like it could be a few days more before she passes away. It is the end of my school year and it is a crazy time at school. I didn't go down last week because I had to put on a show with the 8th graders. Now I am facing this dilemma again tonight. I don't get along with my sister and don't feel comfortable anymore with the rest of the family. So not only is it the stress of traveling but it is also the stress of being with people I don't feel comfortable with. I called my doctor and therapist last week. I have actually talked to the doctor and he gave me some suggestions of how to travel there dealing with the anxiety. I have played phone tag with the therapist but I already had an appointment scheduled for this Saturday. I have many people around me saying I put in so much time dealing with my mother alone I shouldn't run down there just because my sister thinks I should. She has family around to help her but I didn't have that. I keep trying to remind myself of that but then I feel guilty for not going. Then I am back to the anxiety and panic attacks for having to travel there and be with people who are only going to make the anxiety worse. Let me know how you make out. I hope it all works out for you. Just know, there is someone in the same situation as you.
Why would they operate on a 93 year old like that? Surgery can advance the progression of dementia.
I know but if they didn't the pain she would have to live through the rest of her life would have been unbearable. We knew it was a 50/50 chance she would survive the surgery fine so we had to take that chance. It does sound crazy but they needed to put a rod in to hold the bones together.
Wow. That’s a rough decision. My grandmother was hit by a car in a cross walk. She broke her pelvis and they wouldn’t operate because of her age. She wouldn’t have walked again. She didn’t survive her injuries. I didn’t get to say goodbye to her. I was agoraphobic. It was hard because I was really close to her. We would talk on the phone all the time. Especially after my grandfather died. My parents said she kept asking for me by name. I have two statues, and a picture that she used to keep in her room. I have repainted both statues and hung the picture over my bed. I just remember her as she was. My parents tell me I wouldn’t have wanted to see her all bruised and broken after the accident anyway.
That is kind of how I feel about traveling to see my mother. Her mind has been gone a long time and now she can't talk and isn't staying awake or alert much of the time. I feel like I already said good bye three years ago. Yet then I feel guilty and like a I am a bad person if I don't travel down there to "say goodbye". I don't think my sister understands that for me to travel would be so hard. Plus she wasn't too happy when I told her I would have to bring the dog. She doesn't like Nicholas.
It took years for my twin sister to accept my panic disorder. Especially when I had to leave highschool due to it. She is married now and lives on the opposite coast. I haven’t seen her in ten years. I think family sometimes grows apart. Everyone makes their own life. They start their own families. If going is going to cause all these problems for you then I say don’t go. You aren’t abandoning your mother. You were her caretaker. It wasn’t like you didn’t care for her when you could. You did your best with what you had to offer at the time. Now it is time for your sister to step up and help.
That is kind of sad that you have a twin and hadn't seen her in 10 years.
So she doesn't even have any similar issues that you experience?
No she is the complete opposite. She was a real dare devil when we were growing up. She was very independent and driven. She made our parents proud. I wish she would visit my parents more.
It is interesting to me when twins are different. There are twin boys in my daughter's grade. One has Asperghers and the other is in the gifted program. Look different and have different personalities.
Me and my sister look nothing alike. She was always in shape. I was way taller and heavier than her. We both were very good in school. My sister was valedictorian of our class. I often wonder if we would have shared that honor had I not taken a nervous breakdown junior year. The only classes we had together were A.P. All the rest we were separated. She was crying when my parents told her I was leaving school. I think that hurt her more now that I think about it. We were close back then.
If your illness wouldn't have hit you, would field of work would you have gone into? It looks like you would have made a great counselor.
Back in highschool I wanted to be a pharmacist. I liked chemistry. God has given me a sympathetic ear for those who are suffering with anxiety and depression. I have been through the depths of despair, and can relate to everyone on here and what they are going through. I have survived and have found peace. I want to help those who are going through their journey with anxiety and depression. I know how lonely a burden it can be. I love people. I want them to see their is hope.
Well, i didn't want to say it, but from your avatar photo, you kind of look like a cartoon character.
Having said that, I still think you would be the eye candy over you sister.
I actually had a real picture of myself as my avatar. I removed it so my sister in law can’t see I am still on here.
Stay home with your mom and boyfriend. Your trip to be with family who upset u sounds like a nightmare.
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