Desperate for answers

[Charley__7211998]

Since i was a little girl i was never able to depend on my parents. They’re both narcissistic, horible people. They think that buying my love means i respect them. But i need emotional support. But they didn’t want to deal with that. For a year I’ve been with my boyfriend, and the way my parents have made me feel in the past has been eating me alive. I have insecurities from the damage that has been done to me. My dad is a bully, an my mom is a drug addict, and a alcoholic. This has put a toll on my relationship with my boyfriend. He suggested we live separately for now because he wants me to be happy. I went back to my moms but i found she was letting my cat out. So when i got home from work i asked her to please not let you cat out. She got super offended, called me a selfish bitch, and a cunt. For asking to not let my cat out. So i left to go to my boyfriends and he told me to get my shit, and get out of there. So that’s what i did. But in the process she started nit picking at me. So i exploded... i told her to get the fuck away from me. Don’t touch my shit, fuck you. I called her pathetic, stupid, bitch everything. I even wished death upon her, and told her i hated her. But i feel like she pushed me to the point. So now it’s time to focus on me. I can’t worry about her. I am 20 years old. This is my life. I blocked her off of everything. My dad is next if he we out quit bullying me. How do i cope with this? I’ve worked so hard to get where I’m at, and my parents think they control me. I don’t want to be dependent on these 2 because they don’t serve a good purpose in my life. I’m lost, And believe i have manic depression from this.....

[JBUGGIE210]

One day at a time. Its ok to have to cut people off that are hurting you, even family. Your parents are toxic to you and your life.

[ZenGiraffe]

Reading this really put me through some deja vu. My mother and stepfather were the same way to me, emotionally damaging and unavailable. They thought that buying me things was what love is, regardless of how they treated me emotionally. I moved out of the state when I was 20, and finally when I was 22, I cut off all contact w them when my major depression and anxiety problems continued to get worse. I want you to know that it can be healthy to separate from family, and people who argue otherwise don’t know just how horrible family can be. I would say be sure that you fully understand the consequences (both good and bad) before cutting ties w family though. You don’t want to make things potentially worse on yourself. Please be sure you’re financially stable, and that if you need help you can go to someone in your family or some friends. It’s been 6 years since I’ve spoken to my mother, and that bitch STILL haunts me. Please find a therapist who can help you heal from the way your parents treated you, and know that you are worth it!