hi my friends

[lil_avocado]

sorry I haven't been active lately. I took the time I needed away from all social media including this and I feel alot better. I was realizing this site was making me very depressed also. I'm back though and I feel a little better. I hope everyone is doing good and thank you for being patient. I'd love to see how everyone is and what you guys have been up to!

[Stilltrying_]

Yes, sometimes a break is good but good to have you back x

[lil_avocado in reply to Stilltrying_]

hello! how have you been! thank you.

[Stilltrying_ in reply to lil_avocado]

Up and down but aren't I supposed to say "good"??? Strange on an anxiety and depression forum. How are you?

[Hidden]

Hello amclantoc12,

I am pleased to hear that you are feeling better .

You are not the only one who ound this site depressing I totally agree it can be sometimes especially if you were not suicidal that seems to be the main topic and I mighr leave the site unless we come across a different subject but thete again i have started to get to know a couple of fellow sufferers on here. I can only post or reply about twice a day. if thats ok. I have suffer from severe OCD.

Pleased to meet you

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I have been on here since March. Suicide wasn’t a huge topic on here. I think with all the suicides that have been in the news lately has caused a spike in the topic. I am not posting as much because this forum was always upbeat.

[lil_avocado in reply to Hidden]

I guess people see it different bc even before suicide being talked so much on the news right now there was alot of suicide being talked about, which is completely fine and I'm so happy people come here to talk about their struggles. I'm just saying we all see it differently.... and some handle their emotions differently. sadly I have to log off sometimes bc some things are huge triggers. and that's fine.

[lil_avocado in reply to Hidden]

in all I love this forum and I love this site , just sometimes it's good to step back and really be in the moment of now, in your own life. I get on here, do the venting thing but end up trying to help sooooo many people it can be overwhelming on my own depression and anxiety. so soemtimes I just need to sit back and just simply say "I'm here.. it's okay" I try to go above and beyond and sometimes it can put alot of pressure on me. nice to meet you. you seem lovely. 🌼

[Hidden in reply to lil_avocado]

Yes, I totally agree. It does put a lot of pressure on me too.

[Hidden]

I been doing well thanks for asking. My back spasms have come back. I been making a jigsaw puzzle and I think the bending over to work on it at the table is aggravating my back. It’s worth it though. You have to try and not internalize other peoples posts on here. You have to have a healthy detachment. It makes it easier for me to post on here when I do that.

[lil_avocado in reply to Hidden]

puzzles are so much fun! I haven't done one is such a long time. good for you. and I'll try on that lol I am a huge empath so it's not as easy as you're making it sound lol I feel what everyone else feels rather I try to turn that off or not.. I've always struggling with that even as a child. my mom would bully me about it but I've learned to accept it and move on. it helps me understand people better and emphasize with them.

[Hidden in reply to lil_avocado]

Trust me it took me a long time to learn how not to internalize other peoples emotions. My journey through agoraphobia/panic disorder taught me that was a contributing factor to my condition. So I have learned to keep a healthy distance emotionally now. For the sake of my own sanity. Their is only so much of ones self to lend out to others before we eventually break down.

[lil_avocado in reply to Hidden]

I completely agree with that. that's what I was trying to explain when I said I needed a break.. plus idk.. alot if stress was causing me to distance myself from alot of people I love. I didn't want to do that on here bc some of you are the only thing I have as interaction in my life lol sadly so I didn't want to push anyone away.

[Marshall64]

I think what becomes depressing is that there are so many new people everyday coming on here saying they are suicidal. I don't mean to sound like they are the problem, they are not. It is just depressing that it is hard to keep up with so many people. After awhile it becomes overwhelming. I also feel bad that since there are so many people posting, a lot of the pay go unanswered. Then I hope they don't give up.

Jeeze, I'm getting depressed talking about getting depressed. 😨

[lil_avocado in reply to Marshall64]

I agree with you! the log off was so much needed.

[Hidden in reply to Marshall64]

Yes exactly! Hey I just got your screen name. I owned a solid state Marshall amp. It wasn’t very good but it was a step up from my old fender amp. I miss my very first amp I had. It was a crappy fifteen watt fender. It had a closed back and I would run an Ibanez classic medal pedal through the clean channel it sounded so cool. It wasn’t a heavy distortion but more like Black Sabbath. When you palm muted the notes had some edge and not as muddy as the Marshall.

[Marshall64 in reply to Hidden]

Yeah, the Marshall is my baby. It is a tube amp. It is overkill to play at home (although i still do to the chagrin of my neighbors). I have a 15 watt solid state Harmony amp that I got in a trade from a roommate in college. I took the back off and replaced the speaker I blew with a Jenson speaker. It really takes pedals well and sounds great with any distortion and time based effects (chorus, phase, flange, delay, etc). I have a Boss Metal Zone that sounds terrible with the Marshall but sounds good with this amp.

Sorry to hijack your thread Aly...

[Hidden in reply to Marshall64]

I always wanted to try a metal zone. Those old boss pedals were built like tanks. I think digitech owns them now. I don’t play anymore. I had five guitars at one time. My first guitar was a Japanese fender squire. I got it at sam ash in 1993. Then I got a Washburn dimebag signuture. Then I got a Jackson that had 24 frets. Then two acoustics. I wound up giving all of them to my brother except for my acoustic nylon guitar. My favorite one of them all was the crappy fender. I put some Duncan pickups in it. It was so playable.

[Marshall64 in reply to Hidden]

Digitech owns DOD I believe. That Japanese Squirt may have increased in value since you bought it. They are made in Indonesia and China now. I had 10 guitars at one time; a Japanese George Benson, a Gibson Led Paul, Fender Strat, Peavey Wolfgang, Hamer 335, Squier Tele, Squier P-Bass, Ovation acoustic, a Yamaha classical with electronics, and a regular Yamaha. They are all gone now. 😓

Aly is remembering now why she took a break from posting. Clowns like us... 🤡😊

[Hidden in reply to Marshall64]

I really beat the crap out of the fender squire. I didn’t know they still made them. My nephew has it now. It needs a fret job. Which one of your guitars did you like most? That explains why I can’t find DOD pedals anymore. I had a DOD compression/sustain pedal. It was red. How was the ovation acoustic?

[lil_avocado in reply to Marshall64]

hey no worries! lol im enjoying reading!

[Florida1959]

I am doing good too, feeling more grounded, and positive, but the shit stuff keeps happening, I am looking at my lifestyle too, as I realise that I had some bad habits, great to hear from you, keep,up the good work, xx

[lil_avocado in reply to Florida1959]

all blessings to you. I'm glad you are feeling more positive. 💓

[Beachytoes2u]

Good for y in disconnecting from "stuff" plug back to every day getting yourself back, reading, talking face to face. People rely on computers too much, as a test on yourself "you feel better" is a great answer....dont forget that feeling💕

[lil_avocado in reply to Beachytoes2u]

thank you. I hope you're doing good.

[gogogirl]

Congratulations on taking a break and welcome back! Great that you unplugged yourself, and connected with the physical world!