Stressing over ronirrow: Tomorrow I... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Stressing over ronirrow

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Tomorrow I have to go to court over the guy I had a five year relationship with and I’m so stressed cause he assaulted me and I’m afraid to face him and I still love him

33 Replies
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chris1976, I want to wish you well tomorrow in court. Stay safe. We care xx

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Hidden in reply to Agora1

Thank you so much ❤️

Agora1
Agora1 in reply to Hidden

I will keep you in my thoughts... I remember you saying this was coming up soon. xx

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Hidden in reply to Agora1

Got here before I knew it

Stressed me out with no one going with me

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You might get some closure tomorrow. You are brave to confront him. It’s never easy to stand up to a bully. You will come out stronger after this.

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Hidden in reply to Hidden

Thank you I hope so

I’m trying to not have a panic attack thinking about it

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Hidden in reply to Hidden

Understandable considering your circumstances. Try to distract your mind. Keep yourself busy.

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Hidden in reply to Hidden

Thank u

I am so sorry you have to go through this. It is never easy when a love one hurts us like that. It is a very brave thing to realize you deserve better & to take action to make sure he doesn't hurt another person. I will keep you in my thoughts & I hope it goes well. You are strong & you aren't alone... you will have many of us here with you in spirit. Sending warm hugs to you.🌼💛

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Hidden in reply to melbrown

I feel so alone cause so many people that I thought were my friends said I should just drop it cause him and I were having an argument when he assaulted me

I never put my hands on him and he attacked me and people say I’m in the wrong

This is the worst feeling

I’m scared for tomorrow and I don’t like being judged for something I didn’t ask for by others

They weren’t there and don’t know what happened

This isn’t the first time he got physical with me and I put up with 5 years of mental abuse too

melbrown
melbrown in reply to Hidden

😔 That is horrible that your friends would say that to you. It is never okay for anyone to physically attack another in anger. It doesn't matter if you were agruing, heck even if you called him every nasty name out there... he has no right. My father was very abusive to our family growing up, especially to my mother... I know just how well how people like them fool everyone else that they are good people. It's how they get us to believe we deserve to be treated horribly. You haven't done anything wrong.

Tutumama
Tutumama in reply to Hidden

I'm very sorry this happened to you. I know the way you feel and what you mean about people acting like he wasn't in the wrong bc there was an argument going on. I've been down that road and it's not an easy one so I hate that you are facing it as well and what you've been through.

My best advice is to ignore him and don't make eye contact with him during court unless you're made to point him out as your abuser. People like him say they will never do it again but they will...maybe not a month or year from now but they will eventually, especially if the charges get dropped against him and he thinks he got away with it. Plus he has already mentally abused you all of that time you said and that isn't something you need either. Your heart still thinks you love him but at some point your head will tell you otherwise.

You need to try to move on and heal! To some people fighting like that is a way of life but it is one i will never live again and it has taken me a long time not to blame myself as well for what happened.

Best of luck and we are all there with you in spirit! [HUGS]

fauxartist
fauxartist in reply to Hidden

screw them!...they are not your friends if they don't have your back....wow....you are not at fault....he crossed the line, and any violence is unacceptable....I ran out of my house with a black eye and a swollen face and had to go to the hospital to see if any bones were broken...and I swear to you women....he would have gotten worse....I let the little things go at first....then I got shoved....then it got worse....and I had to run for my life. Moved out over night from my own home. Your doing the right thing....fight for your dignity and know he cannot get away with this, and I seriously hope your getting help in therapy right now....find your inner strength, and get through this....then get you better....it's going to be a recovery period for yourself to learn to never let anyone have that kind of power over you again.

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Every good wish of you.

Not long now and this will be done..

An awful thing to experience.

Soon over with.

Sending vibes of strength for you to get through this ok, find closure and have nice new beginnings 🌺🌼🌺🌼

All of us women here who have walked that road understand your fear and stress and pain. Take your power back....this was not your fault....your not a victim...your a warrior going to battle a monster...and your gonna carry a big stick with you....muster up all the strength you can and fight for you....this monster deserves to go down....keep your cool, tell your truth, and hold your head up....we are all here to support you every step of the way....

Wow, that's tough your going to have to Suck it up and go or he could possibly Kill you? Be more picky about the men you get involved with? Sometimes we continue to pick the same kind?

My boyfriends daughter keeps picking the same losers that are in and out of jail. 🙏

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Hidden in reply to Want2BHappy3

I believe I am picky about who I get Involved with-I don’t think anyone looks at someone and chooses to be with them cause they will hurt them physically or mentally - and no I don’t pick the same kind of man I am in my forties and this is the first one that has done this to me

Thanks though

fauxartist
fauxartist in reply to Hidden

Your very right chris...no one would normally pick someone who would hurt them, and the ones that are the abusers are really good at charming the pants off ya....and can put on a great face to everyone around them...even while they are a monster to you at home. So nobody believes they could be so nasty....yeah...I know exactly what that's like...and it can happen to anyone...and anyone could be the abuser too...lawyer, doctor, candlestick maker....it's just something that happens when you least expect it.

I didn't mean to be harsh to Chris, statistics say that a lot of times they go back to their abusers and she sounded defensive which is another red flag. I was in a verbally abusive relationship that I was afraid would turn physical? I never went back.

Looked over some of the other letters didn't see anyone giving her any stern advice about not going back to him? She put it out there, we're not always going to hear what we want? I hope she doesn't go back, it could be her Life next time? Just want to hopefully WAKE her UP?

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Hidden in reply to Want2BHappy3

I never said anything about going back to him ever

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Thinking of you today ..🌺🌼

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Hidden in reply to Hidden

Thank you so much!!!!

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Hidden in reply to Hidden

Will all be sorted soon....x

Sorry, it happens more often than you think? I hope after all this, that you don't take him back? A lot do, he promises and says everything you want to hear? I know you say you won't, but you wouldn't tell us anyway? I'm sure you're not happy hearing this more often than none woman who are abused often take them back it's a fact. Good luck

wow, that's a tad harsh...both your comments were ...may want to lighten up a bit on the accusations of what chris would and wouldn't do...I think she's going through enough...don't know if you mean to be...but it's kinda coming across that way. I think you probably have good intentions...but assuming a bit too much about her character maybe.

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Hidden in reply to fauxartist

Thank you!! Today was a really hard day and it’s not done yet

While I feel hurt and betrayed I would never go back to this guy

fauxartist
fauxartist in reply to Hidden

your a smart and very brave girl....in a scary situation having to face your abuser and stand up for yourself, all you need right now is encouragement and positive support. This guy will keep doing this to women because he gets away with it....by not letting him do that to you...not only to you vindicate yourself, but may save someone else from the same.

I'm thinking of you and wondering how things went. You may want to contact a women's center and ask for an advocate. They will go to court with you and help you understand the legal system, which can be hard to understand. It is not too late to ask for help. Usually the help is free and makes a big difference in not feeling so alone and unsupported.

Hope all went well!

fauxartist
fauxartist in reply to Windy101

brilliant advice.....

Hi Chris, someone wrote that I was being harsh with you, it wasn't my intention, I apologise if you feel that way. But those are the statistics that most likely women will go back to their abusers and very likely end in death.

I left my ex-husband who was verbally abusive to me and who I believe at anytime could become physical. I needed to protect myself and kids in case. We we're homeless for about a month. That was 20 years ago. Just sometimes we need to hear what we don't want to hear. I'm coming from a caring and experienced place. Good luck in court and stay STRONG

I know you didn't, I said it just in case you we're thinking about it? Women often go back with their abusers. Wishing you the best

Hope you're feeling okay after everything! I dated a guy who was really unkind but never actually assaulted me. I still get SUPER anxious at the thought of seeing him. You are so brave!!

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Thanks so much everyone for your thoughts and concern- yesterday was hard and it took a lot of my strength to get through it but thankfully I managed- however it’s not done I have to go back in July - please keep me in your thoughts

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