I am depressed and bored

[hardeyjokey]

I am hardey 33yrs old and unmarried. i need help because i am mostly unhappy and bored. I realized i expect too much from my relationship because i give too much into it and i dont know how to stop

[Hidden]

Can you be more specific about expecting too much

[hardeyjokey in reply to Hidden]

I expect him to put me first, make me happy, put me into consideration when making decisions about almost every thing. I know this is not right but i dont know how to do the right without falling deeper into depression

[Hidden]

Define “giving too much”. I hope this group can help.

[hardeyjokey]

I give too much love, care and affection. I go extra mile to make him happy hoping he will do the same for me. I know i am responsible for my own happiness but i dont know how to make myself genuinely happy

[gogogirl in reply to hardeyjokey]

That's the key- you cannot take care of anyone else without looking after yourself as well.

[hardeyjokey]

Thank you gogogirl, i realise that now. I am getting better by the day putting my happiness first in everything i do

[Kate2411fl]

I relate to every word of what you say. I find it very hard to step back and make myself happy and relied on my partner for all of my joy. If he didnt follow through i felt heartbroken. I can tell you that this behavior ended up ruining the relationship. It drove him away and ruined the love that we had. Im now going to start medication and counseling and hope to get better, but i dont know that i will ever be able to reconnect with him. I tell you this so that you can get every bit of help available to you. Do it sooner rather than later. For the relationship, but more importantly for yourself. You deserve to be happy.

[hardeyjokey in reply to Kate2411fl]

This is so helpful. I am already working it

[Atimetoheal in reply to Kate2411fl]

This happened to me too. I refuse to let depression and lack of self love ruin another relationship. I am learning. Albeit slow but moving in right direction and taking care of #1