New Place, Overwhelming Anxiety

[Kpavs]

Hi,

So I am new to this, but am struggling a lot so i figured any help can be beneficial. I have recently moved to a new state with my boyfriend. I thought I would be okay, but it turns out it's affecting me more than I imagined it would. I am not good with change and had a hard time adjusting to college. I have a history of anxiety and currently take some medication for it. I don't start my new job until June 11th, so as my boyfriend is at work, I am home alone. I cry non stop and just when I feel like I am okay, I get numb and a knot in my stomach and just cry again. I miss being home, I miss being in my comfort zone with my family. I thought I would be okay because I am with my boyfriend and I feel comfortable with him, but i guess I was wrong. I don't know what to do. Everyone says it is going to get better and I will get use to it and maybe it will but right now I just feel numb and can't stop crying. If I move back home, then I might be unhappy not being with my boyfriend, which won't move back home now because he just started this awesome new job. I can't help but feel like I am being selfish and annoying.

[Agora1]

Hi Kpavs, you are not being selfish or annoying. I'm sure your boyfriend would agree to that. You are right in that anxiety prone people cannot handle change very well. We don't like surprises and we don't like change. It happens to all of us. I'm sure you do miss being with your family. Is this the first time you've been away from them?

I really think once you start working on June 11th, things will start improving for you. You will make a new "comfort zone" with your bf and the new people you meet at work. Until then, come to the forum when you feel lonely and blue. Talking with others who feel the same won't allow you to feel so alone. And you just may be able to help others as you help yourself. Talk soon xx

[Kpavs in reply to Agora1]

Thank you, I really appreciate that. I went to school 45 minutes away but came home every weekend, so yeah this is really the first time being away.

[Agora1 in reply to Kpavs]

Believe Kpavs that you will be okay. Keeping contact with your family can help bridge the gap until you get settled in both mentally and physically. In finding this forum, you have found friends that really care and never judge. We all in our own time have experienced loss, change and fear. You are never alone xx

[Kpavs in reply to Agora1]

thank you! do you think I am in the wrong for moving?

[Agora1 in reply to Kpavs]

Only you can make that decision. It sounds like your heart wanted to

follow your bf. Either way, you would have been missing someone. Time will

tell. You're thinking emotionally right now. Give yourself time, if it proves to have

been a mistake in moving, you can always go back. We learn through our experiences,

this is one of them for you. My best to you xx

[Kpavs]

that is true, I guess I am just afraid of being out here without my family (especially my mom) and not having this relationship work out. I am also afraid of my emotions breaking me and my boyfriend up because I become "too much"

[MARYRD27]

Agora1 makes several good points. Keep in mind that a big thing feeding your anxiety is your ambivalence over the move. Try telling yourself that I am going to give myself time to adjust and make friends and focus on the pluses associated with my new surroundings. You may want to give yourself a reasonable deadline at which point you can decide if you truly want to move back. Second guessing yourself all day, everyday causes extreme anxiety.