Struggling ....

[IlanaSchutte]

Ok ... for those who have read my very first post. Do you guys have ANY advice as to how I move on. I'm not in a good headspace AT ALL at the moment 😣

[Hidden]

I'm going to recommend a book, (I have it) It is called "Getting Past Your Past." by Francine Shapiro, Phd. She is the founder of EMDR and in the book she tells you how you can utilize it at home-no docs, meds, etc. No $$$ spent, (except on the book) You can probably find it used on Amazon or Ebay for a few bucks.

The Subtitle is, " Take Control Of Your Life With Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy. I know you mentioned hypnosis in another post so maybe EMDR (which is similar) would help you. I have tried it with a therapist and it work wonders but you just have to stay with it and practice it constantly until you are healed.

Realize that the flaw is NOT you! His mistake reveals a flaw in him.

The other woman has nothing on you; she is NOT prettier or smarter or better in ANY way. Cheating has nothing to do with all that. Cheating is about the immaturity of the cheater, How do I know? Because I got married at 18, was young and immature and I cheated A LOT. On a WONDERFUL husband. I regret it deeply and am so truly sorry. I'm proud to say I am now loyal, faithful and committed to my 2nd husband. I learned a lot form my experience. I think I suffered from it WAY more than my ex did.

I've had to "let" of a TON of stuff in my life. Ritual Cult Abuse (severe) in every way, sexual abuse, trauma, horrific events, harassment, assault, PTSD, absent, psychotic mother, my divorce, becoming a teen mom and a single mom, financial woes, severe health crises, a bad car accident (was fatal and I was resuscitated, natural disasters (been in multiple hurricanes including Irma, have had tornadoes go right over my house in TN, been held over the ocean by dad on a high pier when I was 3 (LIKE Michael Jackson did with his son) Been in flooding, an earthquake at Disneyland while riding a roller coaster (it was so bad it jumped the track) A LOT Lost a lot of pets, lost my best friend (she was murdered) my dad died of cancer, etc.

You just have to get to the point where you tell yourself, "For my own Well-Being, I HAVE to let all this GO. Just GO." I just got to where I said, I cannot live like this anymore and I just plain chose a new life and a new direction.

1. Listen to the song "Let It Go from Frozen. Inspo!

2. Imagine the other woman, put her in a box, float the box ro an island far away, drop it and leave her there. She is irrelevant. (An no I'm not trying to minimize your pain. I know how bad this must hurt!)

3. Forgiveness, Look it is NOT a one-time deal. It is not like you just wake up one day and say "I forgive you." No, It is an ONGOING PROCESS. It takes time. I finally (after years) forgave my parents for their horrible abuse. Even though they never changed. I am now healthier an have so much more energy now. Because I let it all go.

4. You will be healthier if you forgive. Physical symptoms will magically disappear.

5. DECIDE today that no matter what anyone does to you; YOU ARE GOING TO LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE REGARDLESS.

6. In 100 years, will it have served you to NOT let it go?

7. Let go of everything in your life that does not serve you now, that does not bring peace of mind now and that does not work for you now.

8. The Sea of Forgetfulness. (From the Bible) Have you ever heard of it? I know that we can never really forget. But we can out it someplace far, far away.

These are my best tips. I know you are in a lot of pain but that is NOW. It will NOT be like this forever. Even if you do this 5-10 minutes a day, DO SOMETHING, even small, to begin the process of letting go. Read articles online or books or other stories of women who have been through the same thing. Meditate on how STRONG and POWERFUL you are just for being YOU. That is something NO ONE can take away from you! Just "chip away" at the bitterness, resentment and anger, Write down your feelings. Identify them. Then research those particular ones on the internet. Take care if your needs and wants, Practice self care (exercise eat healthy, etc. This will speed up the healing process.

I hope all this helps! PM me anytime!

[gerrerd]

Love yourself, I would try forgiveness, anything else will just fester.