What is this? Am I alone?

[Spot0917]

Hi. I’m new to this and new to this feeling but sometimes I just get depressed out of nowhere and it started if small but as I continue to ignore it the deeper the whole gets and I just become uncomfortably sad and confused about myself, life, and everything. The depression hits so hard I question is my life worth anything. I get stuck in a dark place in my head and I just wish there was someone to talk to that won’t judge me. I have had suicidal thoughts but I don’t act in them. I know there is more to life but what is it? There are so many questions that run through me but no answers. Why do I feel like this? Why am I not happy with myself? I don’t know what I’m looking for. I don’t know what I need. I just want to understand. Why do I feel alone? Why do these thoughts hurt?

[sarahparton]

There are so many reasons these feelings and thoughts may arise. Being very "old" to this, I want to give you the most salient steps you should consider taking, and things will get better. First, since you are new to these feelings, I would highly suggest you start with a good therapist. Be careful about whom you choose, try to find someone who is very educated and experienced, but most important, someone who seems genuinely nice and caring, not overly distancing with their professional persona.

It is important to have someone to talk to who will not judge, and that is a professional therapist. They will help you understand yourself, and what is happening, and in this situation, knowledge is power. The more you understand, the more you can take control and help yourself to feel better. You may not always get the response you need by talking to people in your life - they may be upset thinking that they don't know how to help you, and you will just feel more alone. Leave it to the professionals - therapy will make you feel that someone is there who understands and knows what to do.

Next, exercise is the one thing that has been shown to improve depression. The mind is so complicated and ties in with hormones and neurotransmitter mechanisms - if I can explain this right - can you see how your emotional and mental state are intimately related to your actual physical state. Just trust your body to help itself, but get your heart rate up, stretch, get some endorphins going - that is - exercise. If you're not motivated, just do a little - anything you can.

Next, make sure you are getting plenty of sleep. Lack of sleep causes this kind of thing. Just resting your mind can improve things greatly.

Next, stop eating sugar and refined flour, period. They cause this kind of feeling, along with many other detriments. You may have a system where your blood sugar drops after eating refined sugar. Your blood sugar dropping can throw you into the kind of state you described. If it's hard to do just try it for a few days and you will notice a difference right away in your well being.

There are many, many reasons for systems in the body to get out of balance, and affect the mind. It's hard to deal with because these feelings and thoughts seem so real, when actually, they may just be caused by some chemical imbalance. The best thing to do is take super good care of your health, eat healthy and then talk to someone who can show compassion for what you're going through, and has experience so they can help you figure out how feel much better.

Don't be fearful of these experiences. They feel very bad, but just remind yourself to stay rational and in control. You are your own best friend. Tell yourself that you are going through some kind of imbalance, and you don't have to believe these thoughts, or follow them into a dark place. It may be caused by bad experiences, or trauma in the past, and that's where the therapist comes in. If it's trauma, ask if they can do EMDR therapy. It will make you better. You will do fine.

[Hidden]

Hello! I am very-open minded and spiritual (NOT religious!) It sounds as though you are lost in a forest and do not know where to go or what to do. If you ever need any spiritual guidance I'd love to help you. I have a very unique belief system. No I'm not gonna hit you with all this Christian stuff (even though there is nothing wrong with that) I have a realistic approach to life. I have a belief system that I came to embrace because I was looking for hope, Light, peace and the answers to life's difficult problems. I was raised in so much darkness and abuse (Ritual Cult Abuse) but I'm grateful because it led me to my Truth. There is not just one Truth but many and I am here to help guide you to find your OWN TRUTH and what makes sense to you. PM me if interested. I will never judge you!

Depression can have spiritual and psychological and physical causes.

Your symptoms sound like Borderline Personality Disorder. Why don't you Google that and see if maybe that is what is going on? (Check the symptoms list and see if that sounds like you)

Since you do not seem to understand the source of your depression, I have a few ideas. Is it possible something happened to you so traumatic that you blocked it out? I was sexually abused at 3 and I did not piece together until a few years ago. I'm 32 now. The same man abused my aunt too but she remembers because she was 5 at the time. I also had physical evidence as well.

Can you do a body scan? Sit calmly uninterrupted and just meditate and focus on your body. Scan up, Scan down, Then again. Where do you fell tightness, pain, discomfort? This may give you a clue, Did you know that trauma can actually FORM our bodies and mold them? And I'm not talking about physical trauma but emotional trauma too.

Have you ever heard of cell memory? Please look it up. Our bodies REMEMBER even though we consciously do not. Is your depression and your feelings maybe rooted in a past life? If so hypnosis and/or EMDR may help.

Is there something in your subconscious that you are not aware of?

You may have to do some detective work on this!

I'm going to sign off and leave with this: A good detective uses the "Process of Elimination" when solving a case or crime. THE FIRST KEY TO KNOWING WHO YOU ARE IS FIRST KNOWING WHO YOU ARE NOT. Then knowing what you DON'T want to do in life and knowing where you DON'T want to go and knowing what direction you DON'T want to go in is the first step to finding your way out of that forest. Just start there.

Then make a list of goals. Start small. A SAMPLE LIST OF SIMPLE THINGS (NOTHING LIKE A CAREER CHANGE OR ANYTHING LOL)

My Goal:

1. Try a New Recipe.

2. Buy a New women's magazine at the store and read it.

3. Learn a new hobby (I love upcycling)

4. Try a Mexican or Jamaican soda from the foreign food aisle at Walmart. (Try new things)

5. Go on a camping trip! (Walmart.com has a 2 person tent right now for about $15! (Camping is a very cheap vacay)

6. Take Makeup Tutorials on Sephora or YouTube.

7, Order a Target Beauty Box for $7-$10 (when they are in stock, usually around the 1st of each month)

8. Take yourself out to see a movie (I go alone all the time as hubby works a lot)

9. Buy yourself a pretty ring on ebay (Very cheap coming from China, just shipping takes a while)

10. Buy yourself some flowers.

ETC.....

Good Luck To You! Smiles! ; )