For the past 5 years I've been going though a rough patch I can't seem to get out of and it seems I'm just getting further and further into it. I was first introduced to depression and suicide when I was in 7th grade. My best friend was my algebra teacher and through that whole year she was like my school mother. She listened to me when I. Was going through a rough patch, all my crushes, my achievements and through all of her happiness I never once knew she was going through depression til I came to school one day and she wasn't there. The other teachers sat us down and talked to us about what had happened. My best friend and favorite teacher had lost her battle with depression she committed suicide the night before by overdosing on her depression medicine and I feel like that's where my life/world first stopped. After a few months the pain subsided and even though I missed her, the thought of her being out of her misery and heartache kept me going because she wouldn't want others to suffer like her. For a few years after that things were okay I guess I started high school, went through my first heart break; a year long relationship that just didn't go how I thought It would, he cheated and I accepted It and let It go on til I couldn't anymore, to this day he and I are friend's but recently we haven't been as close... I'll get to that part later on.. Once I got to high school that's when the anxiety stress and depression all started to bombard me. I split schools halfway through high school because my mom, little to my understanding at the time was going through financial trouble because my step father started using drugs and wasn't doing his part, that's when I guess It started to hit hard because I saw my mother go through 2 heart aches already by the age of 15 and in my eyes all I saw was no hope for love at all. We lost our house moved into a 3 bedroom trailer with my step fathers mom where me and 2 of my 3 sister's lived in a tiny room on the floor for 2 years and that's where we stayed til we basically finished high school. My junior year however is when It all started to rampage me all at once. I lost my aunt and second mom, my best friend that year. I and my sister's spent basically every weekend with her until her last few months. We saw her go through heartbreak, those last few years she went through a divorce and the loss of her husband (my uncle) and her great aunt's. Though we still carried out memories of all those good times and trips we had. But seeing my strong aunt go through that killed me inside because I knew she was hurting. My aunt passed away in her 40s and that just didn't seem fair. It was said that she passed of natural causes just her body couldn't take the medicine she had to take anymore. I blamed myself for her death and to this day I still do. I was supposed to call her the night she passed but I had a band competition that night so I wasn't home til late and I knew she would probably be sleeping. I remember Though the last half of this contest my ears were ringing and they wouldn't stop, I remember telling my mom and sister's about it and they said they experienced the same thing little to our knowledge that was around the time she had passed away. I went to school the next day and I remember it perfectly. We had done amazing on our competition and I finished my CPR classes that morning, I was in lunch when I was called for an early dismissal which I thought was weird because I never left school early, especially with all of my sisters. I had a bad feeling about it but I pushed it aside and made jokes about a courthouse wedding with my mother and step dad as we drove by the courthouse. We ended up at a park and at the bridge where the news was broken to us. My moms exact words..."I have some horrible news" she broke down crying and with the push of support from my step dad she continued with " your aunt passed away last night, they found her this morning when she didn't come down for breakfast." I remember seeing my sister's break down along side my mom and I just couldn't cry. I didn't want to accept it but I knew someone had to be strong and it was going to be me. I cried super late at night to myself while my sister's slept because I didn't want them to see me cry. The day of her funeral was the worst. I remember sitting front row looking at my aunt in an urn, the posters of her pictures with us and trips we took. I cried, but I was still strong for my sister's and mom, the only chance to say goodbye was in the trunk of her parents car. She wasnt put to rest the way she wanted to be and to this day that bothers me still. I got to the point a few months ago where I actually let myself grieve her death. But I still can't get over it, it's still not fair and I for some weird reason am mad at her for leaving me, because I need her still. That same day as we drove home it was quiet it was grey and rainy, my stepdads affair was found out and his drug problem we thought he had gotten rid of was found to still be around. My mom hasn't been the same since and we moved out of his mom's house to her friends house where we completed high school. My senior year got even worse though. My best friend was killed in a car accident young and just a week before our birthdays. That added to it, my first boyfriend and my best friend at the time had flipped his jeep a month or two later though he got really lucky, I got in what I thought was a rough relationship and ended it, got in legal trouble which I tried to hide from my mom because I didn't want to be more of a disappointment to her and I kept that all in. That was all within 3 months. My world and life crashed and everything my stress anxiety and depression sky rocketed. I wanted to kill myself. I went over a year keeping the legal stuff from my mom and everyone else, I went to court alone, worked my butt off to pay the fees and I was still there a year later not done paying it off.I got into a relationship my first where he had already had a kid. We went to school together so I knew him. Then this was the cherry on top. I fell in love with him, my best friend and my soul mate I literally for the first time ever felt like I found my first true love. After 3 months I moved out and into his house. From then on things changed. I stopped paying bills my car insurance my phone bill, he had broken 2 of my phones , I stopped talking to my friends my family going to events. I worked and gave all my money to him even over drafted my accounts to the point of no return. He's a good guy no doubt I love him and wanna spend my life with him. Yes, my wrist is broken, I've been punched in the face, knocked out, called a liar, a bitch, cunt whore, cheater, pushed and shoved, called worthless, but I feel like I deserved it. All my doctors had to be female if I went to a doctor if I went to the er needed to be a girl if not the second they walked out he was talking to his kids mom and punching me in the face arguing the whole time til I unhooked myself and walked out or basically crawled out from all the pain I was in. I left once after 8 months of it all and I went back because he had changed. I found out within that week I was gone he had slept with 4 different girls, while I sat home and did nothing.I didn't find out about them until 2 months after being back. I had missed birthdays,anniversarys,my sister's accomplishments. I was always accused of everything. I blamed it all on myself my depression and anxiety got worse when I got put on birth control and I wanted to die everyday. When I came back I got it out switched my bc and went back to the guy I loved, 3 months later we found out I was pregnant, I'm seven months now, my baby measures 2 weeks too small and I blame myself for that I'm scared of it all. Its been two weeks since I've been back. I was pushed And told different things that day pregnant emotional, I didn't know what to do so I left, it's what he told me to do. And I have nothing but hate and anger and stress, anxiety, and depression now. I went a week with out talking to him but I was there for his And his kids birthday and I've hung out with him once since then, he wants me back there tomorrow and move back in this week. I love him and I want to be with him but the accusing and arguing hasn't stopped I can't tell the truth from a lie. And I hate myself every day because I'm hurting my family because I want to be happy. I want my baby to have her dad. I didn't eat really a meal a day, my mom would sneak to me at work when I worked. She sat up there and talked to me for hours and brought me something to eat til it was almost closing so I wouldn't get in trouble, two of my sister's are engaged and I'm still getting accused of wanting their now fiances. I don't know what to do. I don't want to do this alone and I don't wanna be hated when I'm older by my baby. I want to kill myself but my baby is the reason I won't. I don't go out, do my makeup, go to movies, talk to my friends because I wasn't allowed too with him so I feel like I still can't. I still want him but I know he hasn't really changed and I don't think I am as in love as I used to be or if I'm just over thinking.. I haven't enjoyed my pregnacy my first one at that. I guess I am scared of him.. But I can't get myself to not keep myself from wanting to take care of him... Please please please someone give me some advice😭.
Can I please get advice? I don't know... - Anxiety and Depre...
Can I please get advice? I don't know what to do anymore, and I can't ask my family.
Hi lostandbroken, where to begin , you've had a LOT to cope with already in your life but you are still here and must have a great deal of resilience even if you don't think you have. Sadly your boyfriend sounds like a troubled man who, right now, isn't capable of supporting you or being the partner you deserve. Millions of woman bring up children on their own. I'm not suggesting for a minute that it is easy but your responsibility is to yourself and your baby first. While the past shapes us it does not define our future and yours is out there to be claimed and be happy. Don't compare yourself to anyone else in your family , everyone has problems even if it's not obvious. I can only suggest that you accept help when it's offered from friends and family to help the baby , it's good for you both to build a supportive network. Your future doesn't have to be like your past and you can make that happen by doing things differently. Having a baby will bring you into contact with other parents all of them will have similar baby 'problems' you can share. Take time out when you can to care for yourself. Keep in touch if you can it would be good to hear how you are , best wishes xx
I'm stuck in life and they all hate me and hate him. Its their way or no way. I go just went for a walk to clear my head and he went off saying I was cheating and he's erasing everything this and that, while the whole walk I was being told by my mom that I am being selfish and it's only about him and I don't have respect for them when all I'm trying to do is make everyone happy and it's either all them just him or just me.
Unfortunately your boyfriend sounds like he is insecure but instead to tackling his own problems he seems to transfer them onto you and make you responsible for his life as well as your own. I know you love him but successful relationships need a solid foundation which includes trust and mutual support. He has to be there for you as well as you being there for him if it's going to last. It sounds like your family are worried for you but don't realise they don't have to be harsh with you. It must be difficult for them to see someone they love being treated so badly. I think when our self esteem is low we end up in disfunctional relationships because we think we think it's what we deserve. You have already overcome so much, you are stronger than you think. What would you like your life to look like? Xx
Trust is the issue, he doesn't trust me to be at my mom's I have to be there. And I've never given him a reason to not trust me he's given me plenty, but I get treated like it because that's how his exes treated him I guess. I want to be a doctor and get back in school which he says he wants me to do but he's the reason I had to stop going to college. I'm supposed to be a stay at home mom and take care of everyone
Sounds like its more about him controlling you.
It does, I love him I want to be with him but I don't see the change in him, he says he got on medicine for the help but each time I've been there I've counted it down and it's always the same he hasn't taken it. But I don't want him to not be there when she's born or after she's born.. I don't want to take his first daughter from him because I'm the bad guy. I can't break his heart. Even though he's done it to me many times.
You need to take the child away from him for the childs benefit, not anyone elses.
And how am I supposed to do the whole delivery alone and after she's born, the depression and anxiety is just going to get worse
Why would having the delivery alone be a problem. The doctor & nurses would be there. I was alone during my delivery and it was fine. Ask your mother to be there if you want. You should leave this person ASAP as he may kill you. I know it is difficult, but you must work on becoming more independent and relying on yourself in order to save your life and possibly, your babies life. As to your stepson, when you leave, if you are concerned he may be abused, alert social services to check on him.
May I just say THE ACCUSER IS OFTEN THE CULPRIT! They know what they’ve done and fear having it done to them.... They’re the most insecure once they fall in love! You are a great person, every comment I read makes me want to hug you! I rarely comment on posts, this feels so close to my life story (I am the 15 year later version of what happens when you forget your value!!) I want so desperately to cheer you on in whatever choice you make because I know your struggle and feel your strength!
Having been happily married for nearly 20 years I can say that I think trust is really essential to a relationship. My view is that if someone wants to cheat they will and that's not someone you want to be with. I have learnt over the years that each of you need space to be yourself as well as being a couple, you need to have respect for yourself as well as the other person. Only he can overcome his trust issues, you can't continue to 'prove' yourself to him. It might be that nothing you do is good enough for him. None of use can make someone else happy they have to find that for themselves. You are clearly a very intelligent young woman and from what you say I think you know he should be doing all he can to support you in your ambitions for your future but perhaps because of his insecurity he feels he needs to control you to make himself feel better. You must feel confused and vulnerable but your future doesn't have to be a stay at home mom if that's not what you want xx
Hiya, one thing is clear - you are a survivor and someone to be admired. I agree with what other posters have said - you and your child are the number one priority. Everything else is secondary. You are not there to make other other people happy - that's not possible anyway, their happiness is not your responsibility. You have an absolute right to be treated with dignity and respect. Expect nothing less. I think you know in your heart what you want out of life, so focus on that, don't look back and go for it ! Take care,
I’m not sure sharing this in baby groups is a very good idea Lostandbroken ive learned that “some” people in these SOCIAL environments may not have good intentions, equal understanding, support, experience, friends and family, or they’re just not good people; these people often thrive on calling “child protective services” on young new mothers who are in situations like you, just reaching out for help! Please be careful with who you share things with in public as a parent, this forum is anonymous and a great place for advice... everyone can relate in some way and cares or they wouldn’t be involved in a supportive group like this. “Mom and baby groups” can be very supportive and great for new moms, but they also attract bored, cliques and gossips that seek some kind of entertainment in challenging your parental rights, only adding insult to injury in an already difficult situation! Always be careful who you trust. Just my opinion.
Sad but very true. Not everyone is on your side. Wether they intentionally hurt you, or they are messed up themselves. Some will totally put you first. Take time to know people to decide if they are the type of person you want to be around.
Only reason I shared on here was the anonymous part, that's my dear losing her when all I want is what's best for her. It's hard going through it and especially pregnant it doesn't help, especially when you know what's the best thing to do yet you just feel stuck in a spot where you think maybe it's not right to do what I think is right.... I guess I am so used to how everything was that getting back to how it used to be just seems way harder.
I remember feeling so much different about everything when I was pregnant, and my first was insanity! I worried about everything known to man and developed a serious case of anxiety since then (it’s been about 16 years). I escaped a terrible alcoholic husband with my head on straight and a determination that couldn’t be beaten! I made less than my rent but I robbed Peter to pay Paul until I was promoted to full time and that’s when my true independence became a reality for me and it felt incredible! I was a new mom, he was only 1, and I was only 25 so I had the world at my fingertips and I grabbed ahold of it tight! I wouldn’t give up those times for anything, it was the best decision I ever made in my life and my son is a healthy well-adjusted teenager to this day. He visits his “step dad” every weekend (his dad passed in 2011) and handles us being apart better than when we were together because I love myself more when I’m not being put down by him. His dad was the aggressive alcoholic but I left him before he was old enough to see that affect me and his step dad and I just “didn’t make a good team”. I’ve dealt with so many haters especially once I had independence illuminating from every angle of my attitude, my clothes, my self esteem, my career, they saw a once broken house wife finish college and make a life for herself without HIM! They did everything including but not limited to calling child protective services but I always met that challenge with laughter because once I broke free from his mental abuse I knew I was a great mom and person and family services only helped reassure me of that! I must admit I have recently fallen into another trap of a narcissistic sociopath... but I see it for what it is and have no fairy tail ideals. I’m dealing with it one day at a time and trying hard to empower beautiful young ladies like you to know your value, don’t ever let a man influence your self worth, and don’t give up on your dreams! You are enough for your child and she will have a relationship with her father, you don’t need that to thrive, you need a real man or no man at all! I wish I could practice what I preach but maybe this will help me stand up for myself a little more and get rid of him a little easier! Thank God you have your mom, are you happy living with her? Does she make you feel welcome?
I'm at her house now but he keeps telling me he wants me to move back in this friday but I know me being at my mom's is healthier for me, and if course the arguing her and I have are just because she wants me to see what I deserve and what I've been going through isn't right. I've gotten so used to protecting him and having him around that I get mad at her because it doesn't seem like she listens.. But my babies dad said that he didn't want to be there if she wasn't living with him, which seems not fair because he knows me being here is healthier but he doesn't know what I am doing. Either so he gets mad about that.
Your mom knows you best and might be stubborn or short making you feel like she’s not listening but believe me, she raised you to be the caring woman you are so she’s been there and she doesn’t want you to fall into that pattern too... it must seriously be generic or that whole sick going after our daddy type!?!?!?! I don’t get it but it’s clearly the case, very few women from abusive fathers have the self worth and respect to find a man who doesn’t require training or some kind of epiphany to realize you’re worth it! They are out there they just want a confident woman who knows what she wants and how she wants it! I know many men have literally just given up on me because they were so much better for me than my ex but I defended him to death and they couldn’t take it after a while, they get tired of seeing everything they predicted happening to a woman they wanted to be with and would’ve spoiled! I hope you realize how beautiful, smart, desirable and caring you are and that there are too many good men in the world to let a self pitying narcissist take over your mind and life! Become a doctor and focus on yourself, the right man will never hurt you! God I feel stupid! How old are you may I ask? I’m too old to do this again 😂 but I will when the time is right....tick tock tick tock. I know that my advice is very hypocritical at this time but if you knew me a year ago you would be shocked and disappointed!
I just turned 21 in April. I know it doesn't look good on me to be 7 months pregnant at this age but it definately wasn't a planned one and allsteps were taken to prevent it , but something didn't work, I honestly was told it wouldn't be very likely to have kids myself which threw an even bigger curve ball at me.
So much loss, being so young with this kind of loss is confusing. Some of us need to be taught how to handle our feelings and emotions. Wanting to kill yourself if evidence that you are not handing your feelings and emotions, whether it’s feelings about loss or emotions about abuse. If a “man” hits a woman, ever, they are not worthy of that woman’s affection. I’m sorry to say, if he hits you he will hit the child. I can’t say what you need to do.First and foremost is your safety especially now that you soon will be a mother. Go somewhere where you will be safe.
You are not responsible for anyone’s death, that just is not true, unless of course your God..so please get rid of that notion. When you think that thought just counter it with,”no I’m not responsible” do that for a while and you will learn how to accept that fact.
Your family will always be there for you, through the ups and down. Let them help you get back on track
Lastly we are as sick as our secrets!! Speak about how you feel. Only have these conversations with those you feel safe with, not someone who will abuse you. Really try to be in safe environments, ones that will support you and soon to be child.
You are in an abusive relationship and thinking of it as "love". You need to get some self esteem back and recognise things for how they really are. You are scared of him. That is not love, that is fear. You need to get some professional help or a womens refuge or something like this involved in my opinion. Sorry I can't advise you further. Not feeling too great myself at the moment but you need to seperate out what is happening and then get to work on improving your self confidence. Not easy with the baby on the way this is all very confusing but bringing up a baby in an abusive environment will not do the baby any good.
Hi this is awful and your story brought tears to my eyes. You have lost so many people but do be aware that none of this is your fault. It's called life and it stinks sometimes.
You do not deserve to be beaten, kicked, called names etc. by anyone. You do NOT deserve it. Your bf deserves to have someone knocking 7 bells out of him then perhaps he would know what it is like. Only cowards and psycho's beat up on women you know. You can't stay with him as one day he might kill you.
And what about your baby? What will you do when he punches and hits your child? Coz he will you know. Can you get yourself to a place of safety? Family, friends, authorities? Your first duty is not to kill yourself or talk yourself into believing you need punishing but to protect yourself and your baby from harm.
You need to get yourself to safety asap even if it is your local hospital. Tell someone there what is happening and they will help you. x
I'm at my mom's now but the fear or him not being there for her sucks bc I went through that with my dad growing up I guess it's true that you fall for a guy like your dad. Even through that stuff he did to my mom I still didn't go one day where I wanted to have a normal life with normal happy parents. I understand what she did was keep us safe but I hate everyday he's not here. And I don't want her to feel that way either.
I fought him back when he did swing but it never changed and if it came down to it with my baby is go nuts, hearing a baby say ouch and cry who wants to hear that. I have a stepson that is there and hearing him say mama no go bye bye when I leave and crying sucks so bad.
Iwant to believe him but I just don't know what to do.
Believe in yourself! You know what to believe deep down, you know what he’s capable of deep down, you know what you deserve EVERYDAY! It definitely takes time and courage to challenge something you value more than yourself, your child’s future! But I’m positive that once you find and believe in yourself, you’ll see that your child’s future is safer in your hands, you are enough! I was physically abused by my now deceased ex husband and I left him before my son was 1, because I finally, suddenly felt like I was valuable to my son and I wouldn’t be if I let this man break me down. I’ve never regretted this choice because it allowed my son to have a healthy relationship with his dad, eliminating any knowledge or memory of our interpersonal toxicity. If you are able to do this while she’s young, she won’t know any other way of living... She won’t miss her daddy if he’s lived in his own home for as far back as she can remember. As long as you remember and believe that he doesn’t and will likely never have the ability to value you; don’t go back and forth but try to have a healthy visitation routine for her - if he’s safe? You have to value yourself, what better way is there to teach your daughter to value herself? Not letting a man define and devalue you will allow you to grow and nurture your baby to become the valuable woman she is! You are not worthless and you have to give yourself time to heal and grow, always put yourself before any man! Believe me I know this is easier said than done... I am a perpetual failure in the self worth department.
It's easier to say than to do..
I know you're worried about the effect that growing up without a dad will have on your child, so I want to tell you about my experience with it. My parents separated when I was 3 and from then on my mum basically became my parents. I didn't see my dad a lot, every few weeks, and I honestly don't remember him a lot at all now I'm 20. He died when I was 8 so I haven't seen him at all for 12 years. It's not the same situation, but I basically grew up without him. And I don't miss a thing. My mum is incredible and I love her more than anything in the world. I know that she left him because he would come home drunk every night and he would lie about drinking - you don't want your children to grow up with that. So I completely understand that my mum left him for my and my sister's safety and happiness and I'm thankful she did. My mum has always been there for me and I have never doubted how much she loves me, she would die for me. And I think that's the most important thing that children need, one person that really loves them and takes care of them. I study psychology now and have learned about child development. That love is important for healthy development, but you don't need both parents for it.
Right now, you've got a choice. Your baby can either grow up with a loving mother who will take care of her, or grow up with a dad who is violent (and probably won't stop at hitting you) and a mum who is abused. She will grow up thinking that that's what relationships are like. She will grow up thinking that it's normal and she deserves to be beaten. I know you don't want that for your child, so please get help and don't let him back into your or your child's life. I know you don't want to take her away from him because you think it would hurt him, but I don't think he deserves her and it would be dangerous for your child.
Please stay in touch and let us know what happens. And I can promise you, one day your daughter will understand everything you did for her and she will love you for it.
Thank you, That's all apart of it I don't want her to feel like it's okay because I know it's not I just don't know what to do when or if it comes down to him never being there, I don't want to belittle her father to her and at 5 when she's in school she's gonna get curious why others have 2 parents rather than one. I couldn't tell her the truth obviously but if I don't then she'll hate me..
Hello.
Thank you for sharing your story. It sounds as if you have a had a rough time and that's bad, but I want to say this to you because I want you to live as you would wish yourself to live.
You sound as if you have fallen into victim mode. Now don't get hurt about this, there really is no need, we all go through periods where we feel we deserve more or feel sorry for ourselves but if this way o thinking goes on it can destroy us and that is what is happening to you.
With regards to those you have lost, how would you feel and what do you think would happen if rather than focus on yourself and what you have lost that you focus on how your life was improved for these individuals being a part of your life, a part of your story? Everybody dies, you will die...but what would you rather; that your auntie wasn't in your life at all?
With regards to your man. He is not a man. He is a fearful, cowering, ignorant, selfish, narcissist whose only goal is to control you in order to allow him to feel the power that he lacks elsewhere in his life...leave him.
This is your life. You only have the one life. Make a decision to live it with all your heart, passion, energy and soul...how dare anyone take that opportunity away from you...and now you have a duty, a duty to your unborn child who will experience all this victimhood and abusiveness...you are not in love you are dependant, not the same. He thrives on this dependance you have, he thrives on your feelings of worthlessness. You are not any of this. You're a human being and you have been through enough to be able to bring forth the strength to live as you as you should...with love, caring, joy and the freedom to be who you are, not what someone else tries to order you to be with violence, in all its forms.
I wish you the strength and courage to change and become who you wish to be.
If you were your best friend what advice would you give to yourself?
“With regards to your man. He is not a man. He is a fearful, cowering, ignorant, selfish, narcissist whose only goal is to control you in order to allow him to feel the power that he lacks elsewhere in his life...leave him.” Prophetic words!
Reading this I see a strong woman who has overcome so much. I hope you can see that yourself, although I know how hard that can be. I’m sorry that life has been unfair to you and that you feel the burden of the world on your shoulders. I want you to know that you are not alone in feeling this way. You may not see it now, but the struggles you’ve been through have made you into the strong woman you are now - someone who has endured the tragedies that come with life and who has battled through enormous pain. That in itself is an accomplishment I hope you acknowledge.
I’m sorry that you don’t have a strong support system to help you through these rough times, but I’m so happy that you reached out to this online community of others who are struggling with their own demons.
You are not alone.
I hope you know that you deserve better; I think that you do at least on some level. You do deserve better. The sorrows and losses you have been through have given you strength, whether you see it or not.
I see the compassion for others. I know it’s not easy, and it’s much simpler to say than to actually do, but I hope you are able to feel compassion for yourself.
Death is all too easy to think about being one of the few certainties in life. I have had so many of the same thoughts and struggles burden me as well. It is so much easier to give advice rather than excepting it ourselves. I don’t believe that it is truly death that we desire, but rather an end. An end to our pain, our struggles, the darkness that plagues the mind, blinding us from the joys of life. But you my dear are not at the end of your journey, you are at the start of a new one.
I’m so glad you reached out to all of us here. I hope you see that you are not alone. I hope you see the strength in yourself that lead you to reach out for help. Because you do deserve better. Your child deserves more than a placeholder of a man to call dad. Biology is not what makes a parent - it’s love and nurture. You don’t have to hide the DNA that contributed to her conception, but make sure to show her that no matter where she came from it is not DNA that makes a family; it is love, compassion, kindness and being there for each other that makes a true family. And I truly believe that you will. I see the compassion you have for others, I wish you could show the same compassion for yourself.
I hope you find your people - the place where you feel you belong. I hope you find friends that you can some day call family. I hope you keep reaching out here.
If you need help finding resources, or just need someone to vent to, to cry to or just a nonjudgemental friend to do everything in between, I am here. We are here. I too wish to feel less alone, to feel understood, to feel real. I am here for you. We are here for you. Thank you for sharing your story.
You are stronger than you think you are.
You deserve better.
Your child deserves better.
You can do this.
You are not alone.
You are one of us.
Please reach out again.
I too could use a nonjudgmental ear. I too long to believe in the possibilities life can offer when the sun starts to peek through
the clouds.
I hope you are able to believe yourself
I can say that I know what I deserve to a point and being around him the last 2 days have made it come out more of his games but he's good at making you second guess yourself.
Lost and broken, Your story is one of a hero; a testament to how strong you truly are! You’re hurting so deeply, feeling helpless, worthless and hopeless; yet you still want to care for him, and worry about his feelings. You are so much bigger than him with that statement alone! He’s certainly not worried about you or your feelings when he hurts you physically & with the disgusting words these wordsmith a$$holes come up with.... You’ve overcome more than most ever will in a lifetime and don’t deserve anything but accolades and affection! Men like him are wolves of prey and we “the victim” are their prey! (I speak from 40 years of experience) I don’t know you but I can relate to your life on such a profound level I wish I could be there to say everything I want to tell you in person; how amazing and special you are! And how not amazing or special he is, men like him are a dime a dozen and they know this, that’s why they target the meek (opposite of weak!) We can find another lover, that’s not our concern, we just don’t want or need to because we’re all consumed by our love and devotion for him! Questioning what did I do to deserve this??? Nothing! You don’t deserve it! I’ve learned that everything we go through in life is a lesson, we have to use the pain and sorrow, loneliness and helplessness to grow! To learn not to repeat the same mistakes and to spread our special kind of love with others, but move forward when it isn’t reciprocated! It bothers these men in some way that I am just beginning to understand, they can’t stand to feel like someone, especially a woman, is better than them! But we don’t look at love in “being better than you” terms so we don’t really grasp what’s really going on until it smacks us right in the face, an ego battle... with no egocentricity to speak of we continue to be ourselves infuriating them even more! There aren’t enough people like you in this world and he knows he’ll never find another one like you, you’re a gem, he’s a turd! XOXOXO
Thank you. I Sam starting to see more of his manipulation and his work ups for attention I feel bad but at the same time when I think of what is a better environment it's here at mom's and not with him... I just don't know how to say it to him without him taking it out and ignoring his daughter...
I have to admit I didn't read all of this because of the length of the message. This boyfriend is abusive and it's not your fault. I know you realize that intellectually and sometimes it takes longer to understand it emotionally. It can take a while to realize this because it takes self esteem and it's not a matter of doing more or being better. You have good qualities and attributes of your own. Think of the best interests of the children.
*genetic
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