New2group...

[MissChristine]

Hi I have been dealing with, Adult ADHD, anxiety and treatment resistant depression for many years unsuccessfully. Currently things have been slowly getting better after a very long medication induced psychosis and setback with choosing to drink alcohol. I was hospitalized a few times put on a high dosage of an antipsychotic to bring me out of the psychosis. That was succesful but took months, then med changes and I live with my older parents on a very isolated farm, do not any longer drive because when I was sick was recklessly driving and lost my license...I literally have no friends here as this is not where I grew up and as I said the isolation since 2010 has been disturbing and terrifying to say the least. I have never reached out on a mental health site but I am recovering slowly but have little to no support or social interaction and am on disability because of my mental illness. I am an artist and a writer but have not been able to feel inspired or motivated to work on my artwork or poetry. I guess I am hoping to find some type of online support here and thixs was very hard for me to do, because I do not like to ask for help because the past few years I fear aside from medication that there is no help for me. I do not mean to sound so dark, and reallu I am in the best shape that Ive been in for a few years. I hope that others here are making thier way in recovering from depression and anxiety and any suggestions would be great...thank you so much for allowing me to join this forum...

[Marshall64]

Welcome to the forum. Don't worry about sounding "dark". We all know where you are coming from and you should be able to freely share your feelings here. There are a lot of people here who are empathetic.

It can be daunting to share your feelings but consider this as a good first step. If you have any specific concerns or questions, let us know.

[MissChristine in reply to Marshall64]

Thank you so much, I feel like it wasnt by accident I came across this support group. I am also a very empathetic person, but lately because of all that I have gone through I am more shut down and afraid to be caring...which is my true nature. We have all hurt others and been hurt in life...I am just for the first tome in a long time pretty emotionally shut down. I liked that I was both intuitive and empathic but sometimes being empathic I pick up others negative energy and it really has affected me and caused pain and depression. I have pretty weak coping skills but I appreciate your saying this is a pretty good first step...l feel positive and glad I reached out and was surprised to receive to replys...

[Marshall64 in reply to MissChristine]

You mentioned picking up others negative energy. I can relate to that. I worked with two extremely negative people who would talk about others all day long and then acted nice to those people in person. They were very cocky; nobody was as smart as them. Other people realized that these two workers were like that but it didn't affect them like it did me. Maybe it is insecurity on my part, the depression or both. I hated going to work because of the two of them and I carried those feelings even after work.

[MissChristine in reply to Marshall64]

I am unsure what it is but it goes both ways for me...if I am with someone whose energy i pick up on, as I do not experience this with but only a few people...if the energy is dark it drags me down, if it someone who has a good energy I will sense this also...though if experiencing depression it does not help very much...if I am on an even keel its all good. Thanks for your support...

[Marshall64 in reply to MissChristine]

It does go both ways. I have been around people who have autism with people with down syndrome. Some of these people have a unconditional love and positive energy that lifts me up.

My daughter's brother has Asperghers Syndrome (I'm not the father). Whenever I talk to him he always tells me that I am awesome and that he loves me (how cool is that!). Unfortunately his mom is just the opposite (a negative). I'll just leave it at that.

[MissChristine in reply to Marshall64]

I agree it is finding ways not to let the negative energy hurt me that I am trying to find solutions with...as for your daughters brother who is not your biological child it sounds like he probably loves you like you are and that is very cool...unconditional love is hard to come by...Have a nice day...

[Hidden]

Hello and welcome.

[MissChristine in reply to Hidden]

Thank you...