Hope

[jean_madsen]

This past year has severely affected my mental health. I try reaching out to my family and to my friends, but they don't seem to get it. That, or they laugh it off and say it'll pass. Well, it's been a few years and it never leaves me. Some days, I am happy-go-lucky. Other days, I am living in constant pain and loneliness. It's those dark times when I don't see a reason to try. Then, I end up blaming my pain on the fact that it's Finals week and I'm just stressed from studying or I'm exhausted because I haven't gotten enough sleep. I say it's just sadness and everyone feels sad sometimes. I don't need to worry. But the truth stares me in the face. If this is sadness, then why am I sad so often that interferes with those times when I should be happy? If this is sadness, why does everything in my life seem to be going well? If this is sadness, why can't I escape it?

Tonight, I knew I needed to reach out. I am past my breaking point, but I'm not about to give up. Seeing all the other people who struggle with anxiety and depression makes me feel not so alone. It gives me hope that someone out there understands me, understands my pain and what I'm going through.

[fauxartist]

Yes jean it does sound like your having a hard time with depression, yours does sound like the long term depression...and it's a chemical imbalance, Serotonin reuptakers or something like that ...anyway...your brain needs to be chemically balanced. Some here don't take meds...some like myself have to...I take SSRI's, I don't take Xanax or other Benzo's because of addiction, but I know for those with severe panic attacks it helps them and they need them.

Depression is something of a mystery to those that don't understand it...and they usually never will. It's better to talk to a therapist to help guide you through the best course of therapy to help you. A lot of people who don't understand depression think that there must be a reason for feeling sad....there isn't always one...you just are sad...it's the chemical thing. You can't just get over it, or any of that stupid stuff people tell you. But you will experience good days as well as bad days...that's the emotional roller coaster of ups and downs. Some of us also have nurture vs. nature issues...that contribute to our depression and anxiety. But that all comes out in therapy.

I'm glad your here sharing, and sorry your having to go through this, like many of us here we are survivors of the social stigma society has 'Labeled' us with, that does not define us...but really....everyone has something, we are just brave enough to be open and honest here about our stuff, so we all help each other...these are kind people...and your safe to share.