Not meant to be

[sparkle314]

Sometimes I feel like I’m not meant to be happy, every time I get up something always knocks me down

[hb_kenzie]

I know how you feel. I’m the same way where I’ll be happy one minute and the next minute I’ll be depressed again. It’s like my mood is always swinging and I don’t know how to keep it not so crazy.

[Starrlight]

Glad you keep getting up. What has knocked you down? You deserve happiness.

For me I sometimes feel I don’t deserve it and I even get afraid of happiness because I feel if I am up something will knock me down hard hurting too badly and make me feel stupid for thinking I should be happy so I kind of stay down there at times. working on this. Hope you are okay.

[sparkle314 in reply to Starrlight]

I feel the same way, but this week has been too much of that and I’m so tired

[Starrlight in reply to sparkle314]

With every difficulty comes ease.

[Agora1]

sparkle314, when life knocks us down then we must make our own happiness. Go around those stumbling blocks that keep us from finding happiness. Life wasn't meant to be a smooth journey and anyone who thinks it is will be greatly disappointed. I know there are times when the punches keep coming one after another that you barely have time to recover from one and there is another knocking you down again.

This is when you need to regroup your thoughts and your actions. Don't put yourself in a position for disappointment. Take some "me time" to listen to Affirmations and Going Forward in Life..Eventually things will turn around for you, but you must look for the positives in your life. Throw out the negative thoughts about not meant to be happy. Everybody deserves happiness in their own right.

Never give up pursuing your dreams and hopes in life. Happiness could be waiting for you right around the next corner. Believe.... What you believe in is what you get. xx

[sparkle314 in reply to Agora1]

❤️❤️

[HearYou in reply to sparkle314]

I've only been able to occasionally check the venue recently due to an unexpected second surgical procedure........I'm going to be ok BUT was looking for you to see how you are and was GLAD to see Agora1 has written to you. Please read her words several times....cannot think of a better person for you to talk with, I truly mean that.....you hit the jackpot. PLEASE write her back. Please.xx

[HeroOfChaos]

When life knocks you down, you get up stronger, I've been there & got the t-shirt as the saying goes, don't give up on your dreams & hopes

[FinnPanda]

I feel you. And if sometimes I get that happy feeling I feel guilty, I feel like I don’t deserve be happy. And then I end up crying. It sucks. Nowdays I’m afraid to be happy/feel happy because the next day is always going to be bad. I’m afraid that at some point I can’t get up again.

[fauxartist]

Sorry sparkle...It can seem like that sometimes when we seem to have one issue after another. But it's life, and sometimes it's just a bumpy ride...we all deserve to be happy...and sometimes we have to find it where we can when times are tough. And these are tough times I think for everyone in a lot of ways...just reading others posts and comments and all that our family has and is going through....it's harder some days than others...but your gonna survive it...and another day will come when things are better.

[HearYou]

Nope....I want more. And if I find how, I'm taking you and Sparkle , fauxartist, Agora1 and everyone else with me. I am determined to experience JOY again. Don't know how yet, but all of us really are entitled to that. And I will keep you posted.

[fauxartist in reply to HearYou]

I'm bringin the picnic basket!!! HearYou....we are on .....we do deserve JOY! Hallelujah to that!!!!

[HearYou in reply to fauxartist]

That deserves a thunderous beautiful "ALLELUIA" and "AMEN". And I really have adjusted my thinking from accepting I'll only get so far is realistic. What I am trying to do each day is pay attention so I don't miss an opportunity for a moment or more of happiness or humor in spite of my anxiety, depression or pain.

I am scheduled to be deposed on Monday by my health insurance representative who is hoping to find reasons why she may be able to discontinue some of the medical care my doctors what for me.. OK...so what's funny about that?Nothing. I should be having anxiety.Right?

So here's the rest of the story:

I am experiecing expressive aphasia at the momeent.. I am actually not able to speak at times. In the middle of a sentence, I know exactly what I want to say......but I can't' get the words out. I don't stutter, stammer,,......,JUST CAN'T TALK! This is something BRAND NEW since my epidural for pain control 10 days ago. Never had it before.

(My doctors are trying to determine if the content of the epidural is somehow in conflict with other medication usually RX for me.. It's all chemistry and will just take some time to figure it out. So I am rather frustrated but confident this will get resolved but have to be patient and let my very good MDs do their thing)

The attorney may ask all the questions she wants, but I may not be able to answer.......and her goal is to find reasons to limit my medical care. I find that very funny. I am the best visual aide possible at the moment to show her why I need all my medical care. Don't think she will be asking nearly as many questions as she has planned. lol

SO, come one, this is actually VERY FUNNY...and I am looking at the situation this way.......instead of allowing my situation to create a great deal of anxiety and worry.

[fauxartist]

these insurance adjusters would eat their young HearYou....so write your response's down if you can,also...yeah....it's probably one of the most despicable jobs next to tax collector. I'm wondering if this block is acting like with some SSRI's....I have gotten very forgetful.....like, forget what I was gonna say more....it's like what the drugs are supposed to do I think, break that over thinking cycle...but kinda makes me feel a bit like I have the beginnings of Alzheimer's sometimes....

I am sending lots and lots of good vibes your way....I know about litigation and depositions...am at the phase of our court case now where the gloves come off....soon....