Really angry today quick vent

[pgseth]

I'm in a piss poor mood today. Keep trying to stay positive but my heads getting pretty loud between my attempt at positive thinking and the intrusive thoughts. I'm in the middle of a pm shift stretch at work and I've noticed these shifts make me so much more depressed and anxious. I can't go to sleep until like 3am then can't sleep past 9 (wake up at 5 then 7 for 30 to 45 minutes) I've asked to not work them and haven't been as much lately but this stretch of three makes me want to run my car into a tree. I feel silly for this bothering me so much but even sleeping pills don't help I wake up 4 hours after anything I take so it's like three days of maybe 4 to 6 hours of sleep a night.

[Apollymae]

Every one needs to vent sometimes. That's what we're here for. From the way it sounds you only occasionally work shift work. I know when you're angry it doesn't mean much but you will eventually be back to daytime work. Until then you have all of us to listen to you while you vent. You're not alone.

[pgseth in reply to Apollymae]

Thank you! I know how silly it sounds, a little bit ago I had to take all nights for many months. The extended time of being on that no sleep schedule did some heavy damage to my progress of treating my depression, anxiety, and ptsd. I thought of suicide more times an hour than I want to admit and have just recently felt like I was getting my head above water from it. Rationally I know it's only a few days but my brain keeps reminding me of how bad it got last time.