Demoralizing chat with mom.

Hi all. I’m here to try this out, just seeking some support.

Yesterday I tried to be more open with my mom about my mental health and how its been affecting me in getting a job. However, that talk backfired and now my own mother thinks my depression makes me weak and that it was a “dumb” thing to do.

I immediately shut down and just stopped talking to her. I’ve never felt like a failure in my entire life, and having my mom shut me down for my depression was.... extremely demoralizing.

Sure, I could suck it up like she said I can, but hearing that from your parent..... is something I wouldn’t want anyone to have experience...

I’m not sure if anyone out there can relate to this, it just all feels like tunnel vision to me now..

[Midnightwolf1]

I can relate. I've tired to talk to my dad about my minor anxiety and major depression about it but he just said I'm a teenager, it's just a phase. He just blew me off and I just quit showing feelings to be like him. He has like no feelings what so ever. He even found out that I've thought about self harm cause I was talking to a teacher about my depression and that accidentally slipped out I got sent to the mental hospital for 5 day but even they didn't care. I can tell you that the people here are awesome. They have helped me in the 3 days I got back on here. I feel way better then I have in a while cause I'm able to rant about my depression or anxiety without judgment. There are great people on here that help a lot.

[Hidden in reply to Midnightwolf1]

I am sorry that your parent behaved like that towards you, I don't know how your dad was raised but I know my dad's view on showing any emotions showed a sign of weakness, he was in the military then his dad (my grandfather) the same so it stems just from how one was raised. Please just find you someone that will listen and care, you at least reached out to your teacher. Just keep reaching out, your not alone. We are here for you!

[Midnightwolf1 in reply to Hidden]

My father was in the military too. My schools teachers don't really care. I've tried talking to them but they just don't care... Thanks I'm glad I'm not alone anymore...

[Hidden in reply to Midnightwolf1]

Sorry about that I misunderstood I thought they tried. What a shame, but don't give up. You got much to offer. Believe in that. You do. Don't let anyone tell you any different.

[Midnightwolf1 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks

[lrlag03]

Sadly, I have been somewhat in your shoes. My mom, back when I was first seeking treatment for depression and anxiety, kept insisting I just needed to get over it. She thought it was all "in my head" and something I could simply choose to not experience. She was of an opinion that I didn't need medication and that (in my opinion) I was being a drama queen. I spent a week on her couch going through withdrawal when my prescription was out because she felt I didn't need the medicine. Within a few months of being off the medicine she FINALLY came around. She admitted that when she was growing up the thoughts she had were the "norm" and that seeing how I was sinking back into a depressed state she realized that it wasn't something I could help. That in order to be "normal" and have a regular variation of emotions I actually needed help via medication. She had to change her entire way of thinking, and I had to be patient and help her understand that depression (and now anxiety) is an illness, and that while you can't see it, it is very real and difficult to manage. She is still learning and as I have become more comfortable I have shared more of what it is like. It is still difficult, but it is a lot better. I no longer feel judged and looked down on. I feel supported, even though at times the way she tries to support me is not helpful.

Keep in mind, if you haven't experienced something it is hard to understand it. Depression and anxiety are quiet monsters and anyone without direct experience will often think negatively about the person who is experiencing it. I never understood how "back pain" could cause a person to be incapable of basic tasks until I was in a bad car accident and had to experience it myself.

Her reaction is a reflection of HER ignorance, not your situation. You are not weak...depressed people HAVE to be strong to simply get up and shower some days. Please look at it through a different lens...do not let this beat you down further!

[Hidden in reply to lrlag03]

Sometimes it’s hard to see if its actually her ignorance or if they actually see the situation for what it is.

[gerg]

I think that many of us can relate. Let's face it, depression is hard to understand. I suffer from major depression and I don't completely understand it. The prominent question "what do you have to be depressed about" proves the lack of understanding. If something is bothering me the correct question is possibly " what are you upset about". That question indicates that I am having feelings about something. Depression is a lack of feelings, and it is a mental health issue. The confusion about depression, on both sides, may be why people who are suffering depression want to isolate.

It may help if your mother would be more understanding, but you may want to take the perspective that she is doing the best she can. This change of perspective, or a similar one, allows you to be at peace with the situation. That is what is important

[Hidden]

So sorry about that, not everyone understands what you are going through, I for one didn't until I faced it myself. Now I can relate and understand, still learning but I am willing to listen. As that being said, I am here. You can talk to us or me anytime.