In a blank space

[Emptyspace]

I have 5 kids. Married. And was happy. Got my tubes today now I feel out of place. I can sit and stare into space and not even realize it. I cry for no reason and have bad thoughts. I have talked to my partner about it but I think I just scare him. So I'm here. So I can talk to others that may also be going through depression. Oh. And I'm probably gonna go through this for the rest of my life because of the hormonal imbalance. Sometimes I just want to give up. I feel fatigued some days to do anything and I swell sometimes in my hands and get really bad migraines. I'm on Xanax now and another medication. But meh.

[EmLee96]

If it is a hormonal imbalance it might just take some time for your body to work itself out. If not tell your doctor and they will be able to work with you to get your hormones back straight.

You may also be going through an adjustment phase and a correlating identity crisis. You used to be able to identify yourself as mom, birther of children, fertility goddess, but now that you have your tubes tied you are no longer able to have children... Which a lot of mothers and women derive their purpose in life from. This is also a signal that a phase of your life is over and you are moving closer towards the "young-old" category of people. This can all trigger a depressive episode, which is perfectly normal for people to experience.

If this is something that has lasted linger than a month you definitely need to tell a doctor and see what they say about it. Do not let your husband and family think you are being crazy and weird because you are not. Life changes are a big deal. You are not alone in this.

When I got married and moved out (I was the last one) my dad went into a depressive episode for half a year and when he told my mom she laughed at him. When I found out I called him and talked to him to reassure him he wasn't being being foolish to think he was depressed.

If you feel like you are, then you probably are. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.