How do I suck it up? Suggestions welcome

[pipco]

Long story short, it's ptsd and atypical depression (the crazy kind). I've been out of work over a year because a gun in my face makes it near impossible to ever go inside another gas station/convenience store alone again.

Went Batshit on husband before he went to work, ruined his day, and he was a little extra careless/clumsy (he always is anyway) and dripped some plumber's goo on a floor, ruining it.

Now his boss is upset and says he's on thin ice. I HAVE TO GET A JOB.

I CAN'T BRING MY SERVICE DOG.

I'M TERRIFIED AND PANICKY.

HOW DO I BURY IT LONG ENOUGH TO WORK IN CASE HUSBAND GETS FIRED??!?

*Please note, there's no insurance or assistance. Can NOT afford therapy OR pills, and I need something relatively immediate...

How do YOU do something you feel is extremely dangerous?

Thanks!

[HearYou]

Take your service dog if one of his jobs is to notice you're going into an anxiety attack and does something to calm you down. That's the law unless it's unsafe.

And don't jump to the conclusion you are going to need to work in a gas station. What are your options for employment?xx

[pipco in reply to HearYou]

I've been in customer service my whole life. Bit of food service peppered in..

Problem with my dog is she's tiny and sits in a bag on my front (think baby Bjorn for a Chihuahua), so she restricts my movement and nobody wants a dog in the workplace, so as long as they don't SAY it's because of HER, they don't have to hire me. And they won't.

[Sprinkle1]

Remember to live in the moment. What has passed, has passed. I have had a gun pointed in my face twice, once by an Off Duty Cop, who raped me. Be sure of what surrounds you, and ask your husband to get gas in your vehicle, do not put yourself in danger, actually no where is safe these days, but I do not worry about it, that will only push up my Blood Pressure. Get on with your life now, in this moment. Your fear will diminish as time passes. Talk with your doctor he may recommend some antidepressants, ask if he has any samples, there are programs that will give you your prescription. It takes your Dr. to complete the form - ask if he is familiar with the program and will help you.

Sorry your husband has butter fingers, he will learn, just needs some time, perhaps he could talk with his boss. Try Not to take your stress on him, it will only make matters worse, you need his love and support, he needs yours. You need a happy marriage that will be a source of comfort for you both. Take good care of your self, rest when you need to and look forward there is light at the end of the tunnel. Hope this is of help to you, write to us we love you and will do our best to support you. I send love, hugs and peace. Sprinkle 1........

Take long walks if you can, like 30 mins. a day.

[pipco in reply to Sprinkle1]

Thank you, that felt good.

Unfortunately I can't afford any Dr's yet; you're absolutely right about nowhere being safe, which is why I still have a hard time getting my dog a 20 minute, 6 block walk, but I keep trying...

Putting myself in danger is now inevitable, because I HAVE to get a job-here I'm mostly asking for ways to mask my feelings/keep it together long enough to work... 🤗

[pipco]

I can't do overnights anymore, it's a huge trigger. I loved overnights until my main event. Now I cannot go out after dark especially. 😔

I'd LIKE to get into a call center or something similar, but there's nothing within distance to me, so I might try stocking at the grocer's to start...

♡

[HearYou]

Her dog is not service dog. Can't change the law. Wrote PM to explore other avenues.

[HearYou]

Thank you for caring. And understanding.