Anxiety and bipolar!!!

[lovedogs51511]

Hi everyone! I just wanted to ask you if anybody else has crippling anxiety. I barely ever go outside my apt. I stay home in bed that's it. Plus I am having a bad day and just want to end it all. Have no hope for the future. I'm very tired of bipolar 2 which makes me happy for a few days and then have days like this where I don't want to live. Frustrating!! Dying means the pain will stop cause living gets worse by the day! Anyways if anybody can give me advice on how to handle this better than I am I'd be so grateful!!! Hope you all have a great day!!

[panamagd]

First, you will be okay but you need to give it some time. Is there someone you can go have a coffee with or maybe walk around the mall or something like that? What if you just took a walk by yourself? Are you comfortable being alone in a cafe? Maybe you can buy yourself some chocolate because that always makes me feel better.

You don't want to choose the death option because that is not a good one. You need to be strong and fight this battle. You are not alone. You can do this.

[lovedogs51511 in reply to panamagd]

I appreciate that. Thanks!! Things are awful. I haven't had a job in a few years. I'm on disability. Don't have a vehicle to drive anywhere. I tried a quick walk this morning but came back cause I felt sick with anxiety. Its just an everyday struggle. Thanks for your message!!

[panamagd in reply to lovedogs51511]

The one thing that no one can take away from you his hope. Please never give up hope. Tomorrow (and maybe even later today) will be better. If you're feeling pain, then feel the pain and know it will subside soon. You will be okay but it will take a little effort. Turn off the TV, put on your shoes and take a walk, even if it's around the block. The sunshine, fresh air, and change of scenery will do you good. Here's a tip. Find a pet store that has open bins with puppies or rabbits or whatever. I always find it helpful to go give some love to a small soft animal. Try it. Either way, don't sit home all day.

[Hidden]

I have bipolar two. I’ve been on disability for years and now I can’t find a job. I know exactly how you feel. You are not alone. I’m sorry I can’t give you any advice but can only tell you that in time this will pass. Be gentle with yourself.

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks so much. That's what I've got is bipolar 2 too. Its an absolute pain to feel great for a few days and then feel absolutely shitty for days. Thanks for the message. Its really nice to know I'm not alone!!

[jkl5500]

There are days when everything seems to pile up, and you're having one of those days. You're the same person that you were a few days ago, when we were cheerfully exchanging messages about how crummy Washington state was. You'll be that way again very soon. Just relax, and see if you can't make today a little better with some small "victory".

[lovedogs51511 in reply to jkl5500]

I sure hope so. Today has just been horrible. Its the rollercoaster of emotions that I hate. Its so hard to not upset my parents especially my mom. I keep telling her I didn't choose to be this way. Plus I deal with ADHD. That's frustrating too. I cut her off on the phone but never mean to but the ADHD makes me crazy. I feel bad for for her. Anyways I'm rambling probably driving you crazy too. Lol Hope you have a blessed day!!!

[Celtic27]

Hello love dogs you are a good person who just happens to have a complex problem but with help of your doctor and a good support network you will surprise yourself i presume you are on meds ftom your doctor it maybe that your meds need changing also have you tried talking therapy ! And lastly you are a person who is reaching out for advice i hope you got that from the group !please do not think things are at the point you want to die you are worth living please get the help you need and you will be fine god bless you !

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Celtic27]

Thank you so very much!! Yeah I'm on Geodon, lamictal, tegretol xr but that's for seizures. Take pristiq for depression. But Geodon and lamictal are for the bipolar 2. I appreciate the kind words!!!

[metalminded]

Think about the move coming up to Utah and getting a puppy to take walks with and no matter what else is going on in your life, will love you unconditionally! That's what the future has in store for you. Don't dwell on the negative, think of the positive, any positive. Remember we helped each other with our BDD issues, you said nice things to me about my issue and vice versa. Please think about those things. You shared with me, and I certainly understand why you feel how you do, but that's the past, you're building a new future for yourself, you have a great support system!

[lovedogs51511 in reply to metalminded]

Your right its just been one of those crappy days. Oh I can't have a dog where I'm living in utah. It breaks my heart big time!!! All ill have is my parents dog Bailey to play with. Thank you very much for your kind words also. Feel so lucky to have found this site!!!

[metalminded in reply to lovedogs51511]

I'm sorry you can't have a dog at your new place, but at least you can take Bailey for walks.

You're very welcome!!

[Rpan]

I can relate. I hate when I feel like this. It really sucks. It’s like nothing feels ok so it than begins to feed on itself before you know it your in full blown anxiety and panic. To fuel it more with a bipolar label, which is just that, a label. I use puzzles to help my mind focus on something else. I’m learning meditation, which just keeps me reflecting on how to let these thoughts pass..the feelings we have come from our thoughts, if we hold on to our thoughts we feel terrible. Keep working on allowing these thoughts to come and go, our mind is great at thinking horrible things like death. We are not our illnesses these illnesses are just a small part of who we are.

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Rpan]

I agree with you. Its very hard to deal with all the ups and downs of these disorders. Thanks very much for the message. Everyone has been dynamic!! Everyone I've talked to on here has been a blessing!!! God bless!!

[lovedogs51511]

Wow thank you so much!! That helps a lot. Most days I feel lazy or worthless. I agree with you cause it is an illness. I've always been very hard on myself. I just wish family understood better that I'm not lazy cause most days I just feel way to anxious when I go outside that its unbearable! Going to my Drs office is so awful. Its a small waiting room and that's horrible. Being around ppl and getting dirty looks is so terrible. It keeps me indoors. I like being alone thank goodness!! Sorry I'm rambling probably making no sense. I just really appreciate your message!!! 😀😀 So how did you get the courage to leave your home? I think its great that you've conquered the fear. I'm proud of you cause I know how hard it is. I never got diagnosed bipolar until a decade ago. I dealt with it by being a complete violent drunk. I was horrible. Alcoholism runs thru my family. I've got 7 years sober on 5.15.11!! I took drugs also to cope. 25 years in addiction was awful. I'm completely different sober. But life is so hard being sober!! I still had fears of leaving the house but being loaded I didn't care as much. Sobriety is better but things are just harder now. Again thanks for your kind words😀😀

[Susan512]

I feel the same way staying in bed most of the day with this horrible feeling I'm trying very hard to move around but I'm exhausted, been crying a lot lately, I'm on medication and it's not working so I'm weaning my self off prescription medications and trying natural medicine, I hope it works 😞

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Susan512]

Susan512 I'm so sorry your going thru this craziness too. Like you I'm on meds too. I'm on Geodon and lamictal for the bipolar 2. I usually feel ok and can function but most of my life has been spent never leaving my bedroom. Its complete hell. My anxiety is so horrible. Going out and around ppl makes me freak out. I feel for you cause I know how hard it is. What meds do you take?? Thank you for sharing your experiences with those cause feeling like your not alone helps a lot!!

[Susan512]

I'm on Celexa ( Citalopram) 20mg and 300 mg of Gabapentin for six weeks now so I weaning my self off these meds, I've been on a lot of different meds for the last 12 years some help for a while then it would stop working and would have to try something else again, I was admitted in the hospital twice last year because of the anxiety and Depression I'm so so tired of this, been crying for the last few days, I'm sorry, at least people here listen to me and feel my pain.

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Susan512]

I absolutely know how your feeling. Its extremely hard. It makes life unbearable!! I'm here anytime you need to chat. I'm very grateful for this site and the ppl here really are very nice and understand the daily struggles!!

[Z239]

I have suicide thoughts too but I quickly think of "what if after I die... It's much worse? " I thought of another life...

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Z239]

I'm just terrified of death. I still want to die most days but like you said what if its worse! Being dead scares me a lot. What happens to our body after death. Its frightening!!! I'm sorry your feeling sad. I really understand what your going thru. I'm here if you need to talk.

[Z239 in reply to lovedogs51511]

I'm trying to be self reliant but it's hard.

I'm still trying.

But yeah I watched too much anime and just kept thinking of that.

I recommend MoodPath. I journal whenever I feel empty and such. Mostly when it feels like things went very bad. I end up completing tasks after writing things down.

And you get evaluated depending in what you wrote in 14 days. But three intervals a day. I write like more than that though.

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Z239]

Interesting I'm going to look at that for sure. Yeah I journal everyday too. Good days bad days. I'm going to try that moodpath. Sounds like it would be beneficial.

[Z239 in reply to lovedogs51511]

Yeah it's really cool and I set up my wake time to 9am. So like I can drink water first and then eat breakfast... But do bring water bottle everywhere.

It's hard for me to do that lol but I'm like "omg where my water at?!?"

Refill quick after have drunk all of it.

Drinking water makes you release toxins a lot and then makes you move too. I'm not healthy much but aye lol

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Z239]

Oh yeah I drink at least a gallon a day. I'm currently in las vegas so its hard to not drink water. Lol. I'm moving 2 hours away in st george utah. Still hot but water tastes so good when its so hot out!!! What state are you in?

[Z239 in reply to lovedogs51511]

I'm from Cal hha sorry I'm about to nap before my work tonight.

[lovedogs51511]

Oh my name is Kacey and its nice to meet you!!

[lovedogs51511]

Damn my phones completely dead. Its a pain cause it only charges when standing straight up. Totally ridiculous!! Lol. Hope you have a blessed evening😀😀 Talk soon I hope!!

[Bee1232]

Hi love dogs I just joined here and I saw your post but it was posted a year ago... just wondering how u are? I can relate to what your going through

[Hidden in reply to Bee1232]

I can relate also...

[Hidden in reply to Bee1232]

Yes me also can relate😔 Hope everyone is OK today😊

[Pitalife]

Sounds like I've written this,I'm a male 60 yrs old and I've suffer my whole life w crippling anxiety n bipolar depression, I don't go out often,panic attacks happen in public places and I fear that ordeal..chronic anxiety has ruined my life along w chronic pain,,I hope you can find things to help u,I find music is a great companion in these times..you tubes full great selection of music..