I am new here and definitely new to the support group concept. My name is Amanda, 30 years old, and I have had issues with low self esteem, anxiety, cutting, and depression since I was a teenager. I have stopped cutting but the urges have never gone away. I am getting married in 30 days and the idea of walking down the aisle in front of even a small number(150) of people terrifies me!
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Alanderson13
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Thank you!❤️ I really want to walk down the aisle, have my dad and Mom give me away, and have My fiancé watch me walk to him. But i am sure you know the feeling of being torn..just knowing everyone is looking and probably judging makes me nervous. The reason for cutting, I will sound weird but I love the feeling... it’s like when a balloon has a small hole and just releases the air, or when you are under water and that feeling when you come to the surface and get that first breath, it’s soothing and a release almost. Those who don’t have experience with it never understand so I totally get it if it doesn’t make sense to you. I haven’t done it and when I feel the urge I tell my fiancé and he comforts me. It seems to be triggered by emotional pain.
I hated the idea of walking down the aisle and people turning to look at me. What I did was to walk with my fiance and since we had a mass too, we had two priests walking with us. I couldn't hide as much as I wanted, but it was better to have some people walking with me.
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