Anxiety and Depression Support
22,925 members21,058 posts

Anxious and blaming myself

Hey guys, my name is Stacy, and lately I have been feeling really down. About 3 months ago I went through a bad break up which I can't get over, with my ex dumping me when I was not in a good state. The follow up to this was that I was having really bad insecurity and jealousy that turned into really bad anxiety. I had never had anxiety and it was pretty scary, as well as frustrating for my ex bf and family. It got to a point where I was like I need to do something about it, so I went to counselling and slowly regained my strength and was getting better. I was still insecure, jealous and anxious in re to my ex, but I was getting better. And I really needed him to support me, but I guess he got tired of it because he dumped me and said "we are too different" and "your issue made me stressed", even though I never wanted to hurt him with my issues. So I feel really really lost and confused, and like it's all my fault that I hurt/pushed him away with my issues, and that I wasn't strong enough. I hate how insecure and jealous I was and got, and how prone to jealousy I am. And it doesn't help that my parents keep on telling me that "I am demanding, and need to move on, that my temper and personality is really hard". I take it all really personally like there's something wrong with me, and it makes me blame myself even more for driving him away.....

2 Replies
oldestnewest

I'm sorry your hurting and struggling....but you have to stop blaming yourself. It takes two to make a relationship, and if it's meant to be, both partners support each other. Sorry but it just sounds like your ex- isn't willing to do the work needed to help you get better. In a weird way, it will afford you the time to tackle this anxiety head on, clear field ahead of you to do the work on yourself and get to the real root of why your having these feelings. I suspect there is something even deeper that is causing the feelings of jealousy, and anxiety. You know, sometimes a duck is just a duck too. Did he see other women....that you know of for sure, did he emotionally push you away when you asked for support. It may not be all in your head, sometimes people who want to live their life footloose and have their cake and eat it too are very manipulative and charming, until they get caught or questioned. Don't know, but it's worth talking to a therapist about.

Reply

I don’t know much about relationships but if I were you I would forget the guy and work on getting yourself healthy. It was his loss. Take time to learn about yourself and see that you are worth more than what the jerk was offering.

Reply

You may also like...