I'm 14, and it's hard to be going through anxiety with classmates watching my every move. But they have no idea of my anxiety.
Anxiety feels like when you accidently skip a step while walking down the stairs. The rush, the heart stopping moment trying not to fall. But it last longer. It feels like you are about to take a test that will determine if you will thrive or fail but nothing is causing it. It feels like you don't want to even try anymore because you are too scared that when you do try, you fail. People you care feel like you are being to clingy, but it is really because you feel like you are going to loose them. Anxiety is a constant battle that you seem to be one step behind it. You feel like you are about to collapse in tears for no reason. As a girl people will blame it on "you ladies days" and you are the only person who knows it's not that. I pull out my hair and dig my finger nails into my hands just so that awful feeling will go away of stress and agony. I search for a cause of my anxiety and find nothing. I have the perfect life. And to many people I may seem happy and perfect but I'm the opposite. I cry when I get home from school because I have to hold my emotions together for seven hours, sometimes more. I had to quit track, something that I loved to do, because I couldn't handle it. I am building a barrier around myself from my friends because I can't handle the constant questions they throw at me. My life is like I'm in a dark dark room and there is a door that is open ever so slightly with light beaming out of it. But, I can't reach that light. I am trapped on the other side no way out. The only thing that holds me together is my family, and my best friend/ crush that I hardly talk to in person(We text) because i don't have the nerves to do that. But, I get up every day and try to make my day as good as possible. Because I must be perfect.
I have reached out to my parents and I’m going to get help starting Monday. Hopefully it goes well🤞