Anxiety

[JMarie2018]

Hello , I have battled with social Anxiety for quite some time. I am 37 yrs old and feel embarrassed 😞 about it!! I had an episode today as I went to the grocery store and sat in my car for about a good 15-20 minutes until I finally decided to leave ( waiting until the evening when hardly anybody will be there) . At that very moment I knew I needed some help, I would like to avoid meds so I researched and found this group and hoping to find some comfort as well as advice as what works for everyone !! It’s hard when you have nobody to talk to that doesn’t understand 😔😞 the feelings.

[mojojojo1323]

Hey JMarie2018!!! Same here... Im 24 yrs old. Suffering with social anxiety since i was a kid... But the diffrence is i dont care what strangers think so i can go out just do my errands or what not. I always think why am i gonna be anxious with strangers around? Im not gonna see them daily...

my Social anxiety just comes out when im at work or an event or a party or just talking to someone i know. I cant barely start a conversation. I can say hi and ask them abt their day but i cant seem to make a conversation last.. I stutter and always have an awkward silence. And my energy cant keep up.

I want to be normal.

But bottom line is. I understand you. Youre not alone. i hope someday we can get out of this sh*thole. I am so done.... We can do this.

[JMarie2018 in reply to mojojojo1323]

It’s so crazy because I am not always like that when it comes to going to the store ! MINE is more like you said work events (that are mandatory) and I never go when I’m invited to a social outing like a party etc. Like I try to understand it, but that just gives me more anxiety with overthinking it!! I have 2 Boys 18 & 8 and I don’t want them to be like me!!

it’s heartbreaking !! I would love to go out and dance and have a good, but I just can’t

[Hidden in reply to JMarie2018]

Do you really want to go out and dance and have a good time or do you believe that is what “normal” people do? I know people who invite friends over their house and dance at home. Maybe going out to dance isn’t for you? So what! Don’t beat yourself up. Hell dance at home alone! It will make you feel good and you get to try out those new crazy dance moves without people judging.

[JMarie2018 in reply to Hidden]

Good point!! But yes I would like to, because I use to be that person !

[Hidden in reply to JMarie2018]

Nothing stays the same this side of eternity. You might have been that person but now you are some one different. Embrace the change. Look at yourself as you are not as you were. Living in the past will only make you depressed.

[old-soul in reply to Hidden]

There's an expression, "Dance like no-one can see you." Well, I find that much easier when in fact, none actually CAN see me!

[mojojojo1323 in reply to JMarie2018]

Ohhh now i understand.I have those days too. That extreme social anxiousness.. I always feel like im being judge in a way. And i overthink too..

Have you considered going to a therapist???? Cuz i i have considered it but i havent really tried. I feel like it's expensive. Im really dedicated to fight this anxiety...

[JMarie2018 in reply to mojojojo1323]

I’m sure if I go to the Dr , they will

Recommend it. But your right! not cheap, especially when I hold a High deductible plan through my insurance. I am in the medical field so I know all to well how that works I’m glad your staying positive , that’s definitely a PLUS!!!

[Tdif in reply to mojojojo1323]

Mojo I hear you I just found out accidentally after I went into the hospital for like nine days for rambling anxiety or so and so my psychiatrist tells me from I guess a doctor or something in hospitaln diagnoses me as part of anxiety had and depression It’s been my experience that they don’t much on the topic and I’m like you I really do fear strangers and sometimes I fumble so why do I stress the day after I’m not sure how to manage it my doctor puts his arms in the air when he looks at some meds and it makes me hopeless when they told me nothing I went everywhere!

[Hidden]

Their is nothing to be embarrassed about. I will offer advice but what worked for me might not work for you. I found completely ignoring my anxiety while being in a anxiety enducing situation helped me overcome my anxiety. You need to stay in the situation even if it feels like you can not. Anxiety has peeks and valleys. Your body can’t remain in an adrenaline rush for long. It might feel or seem long but that is the adrenaline helping to slow things down so you can react fast. That’s why people say it felt like slow motion. It is a natural defense mechanism to help you fight or flee. It always passes. If you flee from it you are only reinforcing its power over you. That said you can’t just rush out and try anything. You need to make small goals where you feel some discomfort, but stay in that situation till the discomfort passes. Then the next time you do the same goal the anxiety will be gone. So you set another small goal. So for example: instead of going into the store stand outside the store or go as far as it takes to feel some discomfort. Stop and stay till the discomfort passes. Once the discomfort passes you reached your goal. Next time you go further and so on.

[JMarie2018 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, I actually just listened to one of the webinars on here that had similar advice! I am so happy I found this App !!

[Hidden in reply to JMarie2018]

I had to overcome my anxiety without the internet. It was still in its infancy and their were no apps. So all my advice comes from personal experience. I wish I had these resources back then. Stay strong and good luck on your journey.

[JMarie2018 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you !!! You as well