Need to talk

[adieyoung]

I’m new here. Having a very bad morning. Another day of emptiness and depression. I feel I can’t call my family as I am bringing them down and it’s not fair on them. I just don’t see any point in getting out of bed.

[Scott1951]

Welcome to the forum. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time and see very little hope right now. Posting here, even when you are feeling so horrible, is an important symbolic act of hope and desire to connect with others. I hope you find support here. We all know how difficult it can be getting out of bed some mornings. You are not alone.

[adieyoung in reply to Scott1951]

Thank you for replying so quickly. It does help to know that there are others who understand how hard it is. I have suffered from depression and anxiety for years but recent events have just overwhelmed me. I recently found out that my husband has been having an affair. We were married for 34 years. I am living alone now for the first time in my life and have never felt such emptiness.

[knicole6 in reply to adieyoung]

I am so sorry that you are going through that. Just keep reaching out to others. Everyone in this support group cares and will help you through this. I know you said you don’t want to bring your family down, but I am sure they love you and want to be there for you. I feel the same way a lot if the time. I suffer from horrible anxiety and panic attacks. I’m sure I drive everyone around me nuts. That’s why this forum is such a blessing. I am here and always willing to talk, listen and offer support. Hang in there. Mornings are always toughest for me too.

[adieyoung in reply to knicole6]

Thanks for your reply. My daughter has been wonderful helping me talk about my marriage issues but she is having problems of her own and it’s now been 8 months of leaning on her every time I feel desperate. Problem is I always had my husband to talk to and now he is gone. I have been through bad times in the past and they have always passed but this is the worst ever. I’m am just holding on to the hope that this will get better eventually

[knicole6]

I promise it will get better. You have had a shocking blow and it’s normal to feel the way you are feeling. Have to thought about talking to a therapist just to learn how to process your feelings? I know it’s hard to find a good one as I have been looking too.

[adieyoung]

I have had two therapists the one I am seeing at the moment is ok. I have made an appointment to see a psychiatrist on Monday. I am also taking antidepressants (Paxil). This has worked in the past but isn’t helping at the moment. I have been on it for 6 months. I am hoping the psychiatrist may help but I’m nervous of taking too many meds and getting dependent. I am also drinking in the evenings which I know isn’t helping but I just can’t seem to stop. It makes me feel better for a while. I know that going out and doing things would help but some days like today I can’t even get out of bed without a huge struggle.

[Scott1951 in reply to adieyoung]

I'm sorry that your therapist is being only marginally helpful. Have you considered looking for another one? Sometimes the chemistry just isn't right. Also glad you are seeing a psychiatrist. There are many medications out there and it does take time to find the one that will work for you now. Drinking, as you obviously know, is a form of self-medication. It works for the moment but the long-term effect is to increase depression. You are going through a huge change. Losing your best friend and confidant is such a blow. It is going to take time to adjust. But you can do it.