Outlook

[Aorli]

Does anyone get sad looking at how happy others are in your life? Like their living their lives and being happy and it makes you sad because you want to be able to do that too?

[Lostjoy]

Hi, yes I do it all the time. I deleted my fb page so I wouldn’t have to see any of it. I feel like I’m being jealous, but I don’t know how to deal with myself feeling so bad while it seems like everyone else in my life is enjoying their lives. It’s an awful feeling.

[Aorli in reply to Lostjoy]

I just want to accept my life for what it is because I do have a great life but seeing others around me i feel like I should have a life like theirs or at least doing more stuff and it makes me sad.

[priyanw]

Yes - I feel this all the time. And I feel like sometimes it works the other way too, I get people asking me why I can't just see things differently. I feel like telling them, 'I don't want to be depressed or anxious, and I am working really hard on it' - today this particular feeling has be kind of beat. I feel like my classic line is 'on the bright side'... but today putting a positive spin on things has just tired me out.

[Aorli in reply to priyanw]

I'm the same way people say just look at the positive but sometimes that's just hard. My little girls birthday party is coming up and I want nothing to be calm and happy at least for that 1 day and be normal at least be able to act like it

[priyanw in reply to Aorli]

I totally hear you. But my friend just reminded me - you wouldn't tell someone with a chest infection to just try not to cough. I'm trying to psych myself up for another day in the office, and very honestly the only way i can think to do that is to retreat to my bed and call it a day. I usually put a lot of pressure on myself to recover from this or to 'get back to normal' and today I firmly don't have that left in me. And i figure, that's okay, i can get back to trying tomorrow.

[Aorli in reply to priyanw]

Same. I've been trying to face my fears of being somewhere uncomfortable but when you are just too scared you'll panic it's so damn hard some days it doesn't bother me other times I feel like I'm in an inescapable room

[priyanw in reply to Aorli]

I go through this too. I tend to be okay and generally I'm in a place at the moment where I can make it through each day and it's hard but I can manage. Some days I just can't manage. I can't even seem to articulate to anyone who i would normally speak to what's going on with me today - i just feel like i need to shut down and reboot and some later stage. I looked at my schedule at work today, and I have so many projects that I am literally not free until October. No idea how I am going to keep up the pace, and I feel totally dependant on the job so... rock and hard place. I'm hoping after some rest I will be able to think more logically about it.

[Aorli in reply to priyanw]

Yeah I'm a stay adult home mom now for my anxiety and it was a better situation all around but sometimes I wonder if I feel better being around people I can't imagine having to work with anxiety I did and it was miserable

[priyanw in reply to Aorli]

I guess it's just one of those things, I know i have to do it, so I just try and give my best each day. Think that's just true of everything. Everybody has their challenges though - its just some people (like me 8 months ago) refuse to let it show.

[Aorli in reply to priyanw]

Very true that's how I get through some things too knowing I have to do it and it won't last forever

[jkl5500]

I read a great quote on this blog: Don't compare your insides with everyone else's outsides. You don't know what's going on behind all those happy smiles of others.

I'm 62, and I never married and have no kids. I always felt so bad about that, like I was the "oddball". But some married friends have told me that I didn't miss all that much - all the stress and tension that results in raising a family. And I've run out of fingers counting my friends and relatives who got divorced.

I know it's a cliché, but we just have to do the best we can with what we have. Many people are healthier, mentally and physically, and they are free to do more. It ain't fair, but who said life was fair?

[Aorli in reply to jkl5500]

So true. I just miss being able to enjoy anything and be comfortable no matter where I was or what I was doing

[Dubba61 in reply to jkl5500]

Hi, what you said is so true. I'm almost 62 i did get Married and Divorced wouldn't be without my Kids, but they bring there own problems. They say " your only as Happy as your Unhappiest Child". Sometimes I'm really down. Don't go out don't want to speak to anyone. Was the same before i had the Children. I don't think you change too much as a person. Somedays up and some down. I,m just so used to being this way i don't imagine i,ll ever be any different.

[Aorli in reply to Dubba61]

Yes I think I just need to accept my situation as it is right now

[Dubba61 in reply to Aorli]

Yes, i think accepting things is good.not much point in longing for what we don't have. I just enjoy my better Days and get through the rest best way i can.

[jkl5500 in reply to Dubba61]

Dubba61, thanks for the feedback! I just learned a few things from you. It always helps to get the perspectives of others. I appreciate it.

[hypercat54 in reply to jkl5500]

Wow my feelings eactly. I am in my 60's too and never married or had kids. I always felt the oddball among my friends all of whom did. I always felt my family was disappointed in me too.

We have a very similiar attitude towards life too. Maybe it's because we are virtually the same age. I have long since realised life wasn't fair and there were never any promises it was. x

[Dubba61 in reply to hypercat54]

That's very true hyper. I was an only child and as such learned to like my own company. It's not that i don't​ like people i do. Love it when someone visits. But just don't seem to need people in the way others do. It " sets" you apart somehow. But of a loner I suppose.

[hypercat54 in reply to Dubba61]

I do have sisters but they are a mixed blessing. I don't see them much nor do I want to. Only my youngest sister has had a 'normal' life with a marriage and one kid. He is grown up now of course. I am not a loner at all but do like my own company which is fortunate as since I retired I am on my own quite a lot. x

[Dubba61 in reply to hypercat54]

Yes, i,m retired too.

[2getbetter]

I feel that way a lot too- I feel like they are doing great and doing something with their lives, my wife especially, and I’m stuck in the mud getting left behind. Might not be true, but I definitely feel like it.

[Radel in reply to 2getbetter]

I fee that way with my friends, everybody seems like they have a good head on their shoulders and know where they’re going and I’m sitting here feeling helpless and lost. I mean you’re always told everybody has their own problems and don’t compare you don’t know what others are going through. But at the same time when you’re the only person feeling helpless and you feel that those around you can’t empathize or understand your problem, the loneliness gets to you.

[Aorli in reply to Radel]

Absolutely

[Aorli]

Same. Like my husband is so calm and relaxed when we go places and I'm just a nervous reck and all I want to do is be home where I'm comfortable it is awful

[Elizabeth04 in reply to Aorli]

I feel the same way. All I want is to be normal. Why can't I go out and enjoy things. Why must I get scared and run out of stores I go in. I I understand the feeling about your daughters birthday. My son turned 3 in January, I remember feeling the same way as you. I just want to be a good, non anxious and depressed mom 😔😔

[Aorli in reply to Elizabeth04]

Me to a t. How do you deal with it? How are you getting through it?

[Elizabeth04 in reply to Aorli]

Honestly. I don't know. I guess I just grin and bear it if you know what I mean. I'll go to my oldest son's little parties at school and the whole time I'll be feeling like I'm going to pass out or have a heart attack. It is so unfair, bc I want to be there for him 100%... be the mom who brings cookies etc. It's hard. I stay home alot.. when we all go to the grocery store it's like I have to make myself go in. It's ridiculous.. I remember when I used to be so care free. I am 26 I don't wanna live like this. But we will make it through, just take it day by day I guess ❤ are you on any medication

[Aorli in reply to Elizabeth04]

I'm the exact same way I get dry mouth dizzy and naseuous when I am places like that I have to force myself to go grocery shopping too. I guess I have a huge fear of being sick in front of anyone so when I feel like that I panic and want to leave so I can't enjoy anything. I used to be so carefree too and it's so hard to not be anymore. And no I am not I've come a long way by myself and don't want to be on meds. I know there will come a day when we are past this but it's just hard to deal with the symptoms.

[Elizabeth04 in reply to Aorli]

Your right. It is very hard to deal with the symptoms. Everytime I go to the grocery store I feel like omg what if I have a medical emergency right here in the store? What would my son think? Could someone get there quick enough? It's a mess. You are so strong coping without medication💜. I have to take klonopin most days to function right, I pray one day we will find peace in this madness and continue to live our lives as we once did. X

[Aorli in reply to Elizabeth04]

Me too it's like in the back of my head I know that I've had the symptoms before and I didn't get sick or faint I just got through it but it doesn't make it any easier. It used to be really bad where I would have them at home and just wanted to be alone all of the time now it's just certain stuff like going somewhere where I panic and feel like I can't leave when I want to to clam myself down. I've come a long way just can't wait to finally relax and enjoy life outside of my house again for now doing things that used to be easy seem like a chore

[Elizabeth04 in reply to Aorli]

I feel the same way. Exactly 💜

[Aorli in reply to Elizabeth04]

Well good luck to you <3 contact me any time if you ever need anything. Because I know exactly what you're going through.

[Elizabeth04 in reply to Aorli]

Thanks so much. Really.

Take care

[Aorli in reply to Elizabeth04]

Any time you as well!

[jkl5500]

At times like this it helps to remember what IS going right for you. You have a good marriage, a healthy child, and a roof over your head, for starters. So many, many people on this blog have none of those things, yet they still have the same illnesses we do, or much worse.

I hope you are getting medical treatment for your condition, so you can start moving things in the right direction.

[chills1953]

Looks like a lot of us feel this way, so you're not the only one Aorli. Sometimes I even try to imagine what it would be like if I was in their body. I wonder how it would feel and how I would live there. I suspect it would be just like it is now since I'd take myself with me. I'm learning to appreciate some things about myself, but it is still a difficult thing to do to look for something I like about myself. That's something we all seem to struggle with.

[Aorli in reply to chills1953]

I agree completely everyone says to be grateful and think positive. But sometimes it's just not that simple.

[2getbetter in reply to Aorli]

I hate when people tell me that, while I do appreciate them trying to help encourage me, they don't get the fact that it doesn't always work like they think it should & then I have try & explain it to them.

[jkl5500 in reply to Aorli]

I apologize if my last post was taken the wrong way. I didn't mean it in the sense of "Hey, stop feeling sorry for yourself!" That wasn't my point at all. I have had panic disorder and agoraphobia in the past too, and believe me, I know exactly how terrible it is.

Nobody, including me, likes the idea of taking meds. But nobody likes going through hell every day either. I hope you consider seeing an MD about this. It is very, very hard to try and battle through this all by yourself. The right medication can get you back where you belong in life. You can start enjoying life again instead of enduring it.

What I meant in my last post is that sometimes you can feel so bad, that the blessings you do have are invisible. Your illness is all you can see. I have to constantly remind myself of this when I'm feeling anxious, and I just wanted to share that idea with you. I'm sorry if you took offense.

[Aorli in reply to jkl5500]

Oh no it's totally okay. Mine is only here and there like if I couldn't leave my house without panicking I'd probably consider meds but the way it is now I am doing really good to where it's only every so often in certain situations I've come a very long way on my own with the support of a lot of friends and family.

[mojojojo1323]

You know social media is deceiving. You dont know whats really happennin behind all those pictures and posts. You dont know whats really happening in their lives. People wouldnt post anything that show them how bad their lives are..

Funny how i was a victim of this too but i realize that i should just focus on me....

[vanessi]

I feel the same, I had to close my social media. Happy people made me more depressed. I would love to be like them but that seems impossible right now

[yeja]

it’s nice to hear some older people posting I’m 61 female married for 40 years two beautiful children married four beautiful grandchildren with one on the way however I suffer from depression and I have attempted suicide three times in the past I know I have an illness I see a therapist every week I take my medication and I have been pretty good for the last eight months until two days ago and something affecting me and I have been in a state of panic and depression for two days while my thoughts are back my fear of losing people in my life is foremost my mother is 91 and a panic about her dying I how to live without her i feat getting older I fear everything I don’t watch the news and I have not been on Facebook for over a year . why do these horrible episodes recur

[Madison10 in reply to yeja]

Hi,

I saw your post and thought I d say hi. I also suffer from depression, I am on medication.I have 3 children, 2 grandchildren are married and have babies. I think I can understand how you feel. I lost both parents, my father @ 53 and mother @ 64. I am an only. Child and had no idea how to go on, but life does and it is hard. Everyone is going through something and we all have to die.

[Hidden]

I'm so happy for you. I know longer go to church cause it hurts so much to see couples that are growing old together yet I'm so alone. I pray for find the peace within you.

[Afraidmale]

Absolutely thats funny because i was just telling my therapist that yesterday. But you know what they might be having issue's also maybe not as bad as us but maybe they do. When we are out we try to act as normal as we can and pretty much nobody knows its probably the same for alot of people out there in the world you just cant see it.. keep your head up it doesn't last forever im in the same boat think positive the devil wants you to see things this way..

[Aorli in reply to Afraidmale]

Thank you

[pinnk812]

Yes and I get jealous of simple things like they are free to go to their job everyday, drive anywhere they want, go to the malls and supermarket while I struggle to even get out my door. I try to be optimistic like exercise everyday, eliminate junk food , take my medication, seek help, I’m taking three college classes online because I’m too afraid to be in a normal classroom. It sucks sooo bad .__.

[Aorli in reply to pinnk812]

I feel you there. I am a stay at home mom since August because it got so bad for me at work I love staying home now. It gets a little easier each and every day. If you ever need to talk I'm here I know exactly what you're going through

[Pocha45 in reply to Aorli]

Ive been home too but it's not fun now i am trying to get back to work i don't know what I'm going to do.

Happy for you though

[Pocha45 in reply to pinnk812]

I feel your pain my life was great like that until 2 years ago when the panic came back in full force now I'm so uncomfortable it's crazy! Im so lonely at home yet panic when I'm out I'd rather just not be here

[Aorli in reply to Pocha45]

Right :/ it's the worst

[Pocha45]

I don't know what to do i want out my body my head is going to explode

[Aorli in reply to Pocha45]

It's really hard sometimes. Most people will just say distract your self or think positively but it's really not that simple sometimes.

[Pocha45 in reply to Aorli]

Right trying to do that now i haven't been calm all day

[Aorli in reply to Pocha45]

It's really hard. Have you tired any teas?