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Anxiety and Depression Support
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Adult Children with untreated Anxiety and Depression

I am new here and thought I might see if there is chance to find some suggestions with my dilemma. Does anyone have any recommendations on how to engage both of my college students into seeking help with thier axniety and depression concerns? Any tips are greatly appreciated as neither one will open up and engage but their actions speak out, especially my daughter. She gets angry, defensive and down right mean at times, does not want to deal with it. Thank you.

3 Replies

It must be difficult for you to see your children suffering. Your daughter's anger must be particularly uncomfortable for you. This is purely a personal opinion, but I think it is virtually impossible to get someone to admit that they have a problem and open up about it to you unless they are ready to do so. Just like an alcoholic has to hit bottom, someone with depression and anxiety has to get uncomfortable enough that the need to reach out outweighs the fear of doing so. And, unfortunately, their mother may not be the person they choose to do that with. I would suggest giving your kids space. Try not to diagnose them. Let them know you are available if and when they are ready to talk. Best of luck to you.

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My undiagnosed, thus untreated, anxiety and depression was the reason I left college my senior year. It is wonderful that you have educated yourself enough to know that the lashing out is anxiety not anger. That might be the outlet that you can use. When we lash out, we feel guilty and we are very critical of ourselves when our anxiety takes over. Maybe approach her after an episode of her lashing out. Suggest therapy sessions to help deal with school stressors.


I would say that if they are not willing to open up to you, try and get them into some counselling, or find any kind of youth center on campus for young adults that may deal with other young people going through emotional difficulties. I am guessing they are both in maybe their early 20's and until about the age of 25 their hormones don't settle down and the frontal lobe development isn't complete. Yes, it's why teenagers and young adults are so moody any way. But it does sound like they are old enough to get evaluated and possibly get them on antidepressants if needed, they are not addictive, they take a few weeks to fully kick in, there may be some dosage or different meds adjustment,and the only side effect I get is feeling a bit better. You still have ups and downs just a smoother ride of it, I lived with depression and other stuff for 20 plus years before I got help. My life would have been so much better and so different.


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