Anxious about adult children

[Needacheatcode]

I’ve had general anxiety for 30 years, managed by medication.

For the past year I’ve become increasingly anxious around the well being of my two adult children. If I can’t reach them, or have concerns over their whereabouts, I become immediately, over the top anxious, and will remain at a level of high anxiety until I hear from them. Seems to be getting worse.

I’m fully aware of how irrational this is, but am struggling to manage it.

Any suggestions?

[Raggedy-Ann]

Hey Need, from the outside looking in I think your anxiety may be from feeling alone, or lack of control over your kids lives. Your kids are adults and are responsible for themselves. You will always be their father but you no longer need to raise them, just love them. It is time to breathe, not worry yourself to illness. It has to be hard on them as well. Maybe try talking to them and suggest meeting up for a meal once a week or an activity like a sport or movie or watch a game. Have fun with them. It sounds like a good time for you to join a group that does stuff you enjoy too. Hiking, swimming, car clubs, shooting pool...... When you feel the anxiety starting, do something to occupy your mind, cook, play a game on your computer, fall asleep watching a movie... You are young, what would you like to do?

[Needacheatcode in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

Thank you for the excellent counsel. You really hit the nail on the head. I need to establish a healthier parent/child relationship, and that includes me exploring my own interests.

I’m so exhausted with knowing that my thoughts are illogical, but still not allowing my rational mind to win. I think anyone with anxiety understands that crazy contradiction.

Thank you again…be well!

[LadyZen]

I have an adult son, and soon-to-be-adult daughter. I worry about them a lot too. I worry more if I don't have any other place to put my anxiety towards. I use distraction to draw my mind away from it. I usually go for a long walk. But since it's too cold these days, I've been playing app games and watching T.V.

[Needacheatcode in reply to LadyZen]

Thanks LadyZen - you’re absolutely right. I need some good healthy distractions.

Cold where I am too. I’ll need to throw on my coat and get outside!

[LadyZen in reply to Needacheatcode]

I put up the holiday decorations, but only a few outside because it was so cold. Every year I do more and more indoor decorations and less and less outdoor decorations.