How do I dig myself out of this hole?

[Michaellarsen]

I’m looking for suggestions on what to do in this situation. I’m currently struggling with severe anxiety and depression and I feel like my current state of mind limits my ability to think critically and view my situation from all perspectives. For this reason I would appreciate the advice of adults who struggled with anxiety and depression when they were my age (17 male) and have managed to overcome it. Anyways I’m going to attempt to be unbiased in my overview of recent events but bear with me if the angsty teen part of me comes out.

Since I can remember I’ve always had trouble socializing and making friends. I never paid much thought to it because there has always been someone that Ive been able to talk to during the school day. As the years progressed my peers started forming friend groups and hanging out with each other outside of school. Though for me, hanging out with someone outside of school was an extremely rare occurance, I felt as if I was normal but that I just had trouble forming strong relationships. Upon reaching 10th grade, I began to realize how socially stunted I was and it caused me to isolate myself and avoid connecting with people in fear that they might think I’m weird or a loser etc.. So since I can remember my daily routine has been to go to school, come home, then whatch tv or YouTube until I went to bed. (I’ve always struggled with finding motivation to do homework and further my intelligence, partly due to ADHD, and partly due to a relatively poor work ethic and apathy) Due to this routine my relationship with my parents has begun to degrade because I’m ALWAYS around them, but they don’t understand how extremely difficult it is to get out of the house or socialize. Recently my parents have commented on my patterns of behavior and explained to me how I’m never going to amount to anything if I keep it up so they are making me get a job in an order to teach me life skills. While I believe that they are genuinely conscerned and just want me to learn life skills in order to succeed, the thought out changing my daily pattern is one of the most anxiety invoking ideas I can imagine. I believe that my anxiety and depression coupled with my stunted social skills makes me an undesireable person to be around and often times I push people away and isolate myself. I’ve learned to accept being alone and can tolerate it but right now I’m incredibly lonely and I don’t know what steps I should take to dig myself out of this hole. Any insight would be greatly appreciated, thank you!

[fauxartist]

I must say, for someone who does not like school work, you certainly do have a very good grasp of writing. You write very eloquently, geezzzz, you should certainly think of journalling or doing something along the lines of expressing yourself through your writing. Your also going through all the normal teenage stuff, you just may not be a 'follower', your not a group of friends kind of person. You are your own person, and really, that's okay. I would maybe look for some kind of job where you were maybe helping younger kids with social issues, art therapy, some kind of constructive thing. Just any old job does not teach you social skills, if anything, work is work, not a socializing environment necessarily. Many of us here are loners for what ever reason, so try to connect in other ways, like what your doing here, expressing your stuff your dealing with, all of this helps. You'll be okay, your young and finding your footing in the world. Find what makes you happy, truly happy, art, music, writing, what ever, and express yourself.

[nimon]

I could have wrote what you wrote except replace YouTube with PC games, no YouTube back then I’m in my 40s. Now the bad news is I haven’t been able to overcome anxiety and depression and I still have bad days but I have learned tricks to keep me productive. I have learned how to manage myself in a bad state and have come to accept myself and see myself as strong for what I go through. Good news is, I have a great wife. She is the social one who gets me out there and helps me socialize. I’m fit, running a marathon in 4 months, and I have a career that pays well. I’m up early writing this because I’m down about something, so no I haven’t found a way to rewrite my brain. So my message is to get out and do activities with people even if you are the quiet guy. Push yourself. Exercise consistently and try a meditation app. Keep goals, small and dream level. Have faith that things will always get better. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Lastly don’t be mad that your family might not understand if they don’t understand. Or future girlfriends or friends don’t understand. It’s very hard for people to get what we have. Things will get better but still expect bad days. Take care.

[Want2BHappy3]

It's very difficult...it'll last several months at a time for me. I take medication and go to counciling.

I know when someone gives you advice it's easier said than done! But you must Focus on the NOW...this is what pulls me out it. And I pray everyday.

Don't know if you believe? It's ok just destract yourself like I said.

And I see things are worse for others gets me thinking it's not so BAD!