I am also an alcoholic in recovery for 24 years, attend AA and Alanon but have just opened the Pandora's Box of how my past affects my present.
This all started when I was feeling used, overwhelmed & disrespected at my job of 20 years.
My job creates over-the-top stress. The few in my area feel the wrath and shame of unrealized expectations from supervisors & management. We come up with deadlines that we feel are reasonable, they are reviewed by mgmnt, "revised" & given back with a "You can do it. Go TEAM!!". Guess what? We don't make the deadline.
Between work stress and major physical issues I have due to osteoarthritis, I started to get really angry, butting heads, rebelling, having to prove myself & I became the target of intense micro-management.
In the meantime I had arranged to go out on leave for major surgery to alleviate Spinal Stenosis. I'm using FMLA for a few months.
I've had a 3-level spine surgery to replace 3 disks. I'm also taking this time to work on my mental issues. I had all the testing. I have issues ranging from ADHD to depression to personality disorder. So I'm pretty messed up but am oh-soooooo willing to work hard & get better. I'm happy to be here!