Sunday tangent

[Three_beats]

Hello. I’ve been a member for a few days now and well I didn’t know where to start. I’m obviously here because I need help. I have been battling with anxiety for about 8 years now. The older I get the more I realize that my train of thought is different from others. I never really felt like I could relate. I am fortunate to have a few good friends who just listen to my madness. I just found out a few months ago that my mother is on anxiety meds (her issues are she to menopause) and I feel like that is me, 15 years from now. I have been on almost every medication out there. I found one that worked and followed all the tools and was able to get off them in 2015.....but now, I’m back to where I started. I was given the prescription for my meds, and I have to start therapy. I have been slowly declining social gatherings because it just feels like too much. I am coming to terms that my trigger is my marriage. I was separated in 2015 and we reconciled mid last year, and well, we are reverting back to what separated us. I hate to put this into the universe but I feel we are better off apart..we have three beautiful kids and I don’t want to put them through that turmoil..again. I could really use some tips on how to sort this mess out.

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

Sometimes children are better off in a happy home than an unhappy one. You’ve separated before so you know both sides of it. I think you have to be happy and healthy to be the best parent you can for your child. When I left my first husband it made me a much better mother to him. I was able to be happy and healthy. Obviously only you know what’s right. I think discussing your issues with a therapist will help a lot. We will be here for you as well. You have to put your own oxygen mask on first though before you can help others.

[Three_beats in reply to Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

Thank you and you’re right. When I left him I was a better mother and happier person overall. I have mentioned all of this to him and our last resort is a couples counseling retreat. If we still can’t resolve anything then we will be able to walk away knowing we tried it all

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell in reply to Three_beats]

That sounds awesome. I’m actually in the same boat praying for answers. Again. We haven’t gone to counseling but I’m going to look into it. I wish you the best outcome possible. We haven’t separated so I am scared. I’m not sure how I will do without him. At least you have that. My son is grown now. That’s one positive. It’s not about him as much. Hope all goes well.

[AnxietySterling]

Sorry you are going through this. I think that you need to think what is best for you. The better you are the better you can raise your children. Probably going to couple's therapy may help. Best of luck.

[nimon]

Sorry to hear. I feel like I’m on version 5 of my life. If the kids are not in a positive environment i don’t know if staying with someone for the sake of kids is beneficial. A therapist is the best place to start. I find our friends and family can only do so much. I think my kids are better off with our relationship ending because they witnessed us fight and not get along. Now they see a positive relationship in two separate homes. Try something new. Maybe a classs, or being around new people will give you a better perspective.

[Want2BHappy3]

Hello, you say your mother has anxeity too. I found out that we can pass our anxeity to our children. My youngest one said she has anxeity. We made me feel so bad. Didn't realize what I did. Having a relationship with someone who has anxeity is very difficult. You know what's worse? When Both have anxeity? That be Me n my boyfriend we feed off each other's anxiety. I'm waiting for my sleep Meds to kick in? My body fights it. I'm suppose to spend the day with my daughter whom has had a somewhat difficult relationship. It's been several years since we've spent time alone. She's always very critical of ME. Any chance she gets she has something to say. Even in front of others. So I'm trying to get some rest. Afraid of my anxeity kicking in? Going to take my Meds to get me through the day. Well I wish you n your family the best.

[Three_beats in reply to Want2BHappy3]

Thank you so much. Yes you’re right, it is definitely hereditary. My father actually has it. He had a horrible upbringing and out of four of his children only one is anxiety free. I am just trying to focus on all the good in my life and those who genuinely care about my well being. My daughters are young and I can still do some damage control and rectify any harm. My son however, is 14 and will not be as fortunate. I am hopeful that this retreat I will be attending will help put things into perspective. If the end result is a divorce at least we can be well equipped to take the necessary steps

[Want2BHappy3 in reply to Three_beats]

Good for your family especially the kids. Best of luck