Why am I in hysterics?

[JPhilip]

Hi again. I don't really know why this happens, but it happened just a few minutes ago. I made a mistake today, and afterwards I felt so bad about it that I locked myself in my room and cried for 20 minutes. I've been going to bed really late and not eating very healthy, so I think I wrapped my mistake and all of that up in a big package and labeled it "My life is falling apart." I get so mad at myself, so angry at other people, and so frustrated that things aren't going right that I break down and either rage or sob uncontrollably. Sometimes I "work myself up" so much that all I can do is gasp for breath and pound my chair. Nervous breakdowns happen like this a few times a month. I think I'm pretty emotionally unstable right now, and I need a way to try and fix this, but I don't really know what to do. I'm working to get myself on a more stable track, but I'm not even quite an adult yet and I'm not sure how.

[2stroke]

JPhilip

Dont be so hard on yourself,its not worth the hastle.

[Two_Of_Me]

Hey jphilip,

Just saw your message. Sounds like a bit of a rough patch. Times like these it's good to do some things...

1. Relax, and understand that you are (from the last post you made) working on some things that you have been carrying with you. Be gentle, kind, and understanding with yourself.

2. Try to find some people to be with when this happens. You might be thinking... "I can't face anyone like this", but if you can find at least one person... even if they are only in the same room, or holding your hand, giving you a hug, or listening... this can help.

3. Understand that this time of year is hard for many people. It's easy to pile some things up and to get to "emotional overload". Don't be mad at yourself for that... go back to #1... be gentle with yourself.

4. You are adult enough to be reaching out for help, and this is fantastic! Many people do not. Give yourself a pat on the back for that. Recognizing you need a hand, and being brave enough to ask is a VERY mature and wise behavior.

5. Take care of yourself physically... it's easy to get into a cycle of poor sleep and poor diet... these can contribute to how you "feel" too... dunno if you are into any kind of sports, but physical activity can help... even just a brisk walk... like walk a mile or 2... fast, so you break a little sweat or raise your heartrate. Believe it or not, this can actually help you feel calmer. It's biology! Treat yourself to a healthy meal you love. See #1 again! Be kind to yourself! Take a warm shower after... that'll feel good too.

6. Don't forget to find a counselor next week when the holidays have passed. I will say here I am doing the same.

I found some close friends to spend the holidays with (vs. being alone) and even though I'm not doing anything but hanging at their house, we're spending time together and talking. When the new year rolls around, I'm going to also seek a counselor to help me work on the things I'm carrying with me. So, we're kind of in the same boat a little bit...

None of the above things are going to fix everything for you, but they all will help you from sinking so low and into despair. It's kind of "good emotional hygiene". Also go back and read my reply to your first post... the things in there are relevant too. You can tell by the number of people on here that we all struggle from time to time (or even a long time). The particular details are not as relevant as the fact that this is not unusual... it's part of being human!

If there is not anyone else nearby for you to talk to, then post here... feel free to PM or post in the public forum. We here understand how difficult it can be, so you have empathetic ears and eyes and hearts here.

I'll look for your posts, or PMs, and I'll check in with you in a day or two by PM... just to see how you are doing. You are on my mind now! So, you are not alone!

[JPhilip in reply to Two_Of_Me]

Thanks so much! I’ll try some of these things next time I feel an emotional breakdown coming on. I wish you the best of luck in finding a good counselor and getting past what you’re going through. It’s good to know that other people here understand and deal with this. I think part of it is because all semester I’ve been doing something non-stop, and now that it’s Christmas Break, I’m coping with the fact that I don’t always have to be productive; I can waste time if I want.

[Two_Of_Me in reply to JPhilip]

Hey I know that well too!!! Making myself so busy as to be able to submerge the emotional stuff. I'll warn you it's easy to do, but if you make that into a habit, then you will find years later, you have never dealt with the issues, and they they are still right where you left them. I can tell you firsthand, as this is what I did! (hence now needing to get some help untangling the ball).

Idle time is easy to fill with our emotions and made-up stories when we're not distracted. The thing to be careful of is we can often fill that empty space with with "stories" which don't match reality. This is what can sometimes send us off to a place we don't want to be... this is why having some outside perspective, whether it be here, a counselor, a friend, etc. is so important. These outside people can call BS when we are filling the space with non-reality.

Glad you are doing OK now, your message sounds like you managed to calm yourself. Just reach out if you are feeling the need again. As you can see, plenty of people here are ready to lend an ear or share some experiences.

Finally, try to enjoy a few days... what I mean by this is see if you can temporarily postpone getting freaked out, or even "working on this" for a couple days... just hang out with friends/family or whomever you like being with. Play a boardgame or do something interactive (not just sitting and watching TV or movies). Go bowling (yeah, corny, but even if you suck it's fun) and it's out of the ordinary. Having some simple and positive connections to people in a low-stakes setting can help you feel good. It doesn't solve the longer term problem, but it helps round off some of the sharp edges!

Be well, and keep us up on how you are faring!

[Hidden]

I'm sorry for what you are going through ! Please read my post. I want to tell you and everyone else that isn't already doing this. Please start taking care for your health number one. If we don't take care o our physical health our emotional and mental health will fail sooner or later. I learned the hard way. It won't happen over night but one day at a time and you will get there. Eliminate fast food. Caffeine if you struggle with anxiety and start eating more whole foods like fruits veggies and fish which has omega threes that is amazing for brain health. I recovered from a mental breakdown and depression by starting to eat better and I've been going strong for two years. I still have fast food once a month or so and a cup of coffee once in a while which I regret everything but otherwise I am proud to have reached those goals that make me feel better. Hope things get better!! Don't give up

[JPhilip in reply to Hidden]

Thanks! I’m currently trying to get myself a healthier eating and sleeping schedule. I hope it helps with some of my stress.

[Hidden in reply to JPhilip]

Try to take it one day at a time. Also writing stuff down helps me a lot when I have a lot of stuff going on at once!! Glad you are working on your eating and sleeping ! Those will definitely help you feel calmer during stress. Also I see you are a Christian. Read the book of psalms they always seems to calm me down and give me an inner peace. Praying things get better for you!!