Introduction

[lgehami]

Hi there:

I'm a 19 year-old college music major who has really been struggling lately with anxiety and depression within the last month (perhaps parts of OCD too, but I really can't say for sure). To be honest, it sucks sometimes because I feel as though I could have avoided this all. I became head-over-heels for a Christian woman at my college and I basically adopted her religion subconsciously because I liked her. I then gained two different understandings of the world, and I became super conflicted and that's when the anxiety started (during Thanksgiving week). When I went to school for three more weeks, I was okay for the most part. Then I went back home, and that's when it started all over again.

I remember having a lot of anxiety at first and just trying to manage it, which I believe mainly came from thinking about things that made me really queezy, usually about this particular college girl. That lasted for about a week. Then I caught myself thinking about automatic bodily processes, and now my consciousness of them is really pooping on me right now. I've had suicidal thoughts this past month. I feel as if I really fucked myself over, and I hope to get therapy soon, and I know that life is long. At least now that Christmas is over, I can finally start making appointments.

Since the beginning of the school year, I've found that listening to the soundtrack to RENT has been helpful, especially keeping these lyrics in mind:

The heart may freeze, or it can burn.

The pain will ease if I can learn

There is no future. There is no past

I live this moment as my last.

There's only us. There's only this.

Forget regret or life is yours to miss.

No other road; no other way.

No day but today.

God help us all lol.

[JayDino]

Hey. I'm 25 and a physics major student. I too battle from GAD and sometimes depression. I know those feelings are horrible. Just go to appointments and check your situation with professionals. Be patient and take one step at a time. There are so many students in our situation. Even those who don't seem. Like me eh eh. Hugs and best wishes

[lgehami in reply to JayDino]

Lol. Thanks man boi.

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

I am a Christian. It is a wonderful thing. Are you still your your girl? If you have questions about your Christianity perhaps she could help you? Do you have a Christian Center at your school? If you or her go to church I am sure the pastor would be happy to counsel you with any questions you may have. If you ever have any questions about Christianity don’t hesitate to ask. I’m not a scholar but I was raised Christian. Don’t put too much stress into though. God is a God of love. He can help you through anything. He teaches us to love everyone and not judge. For He is the ultimate judge. From the time the Bible was written there has been great change in the world. Including borders of lands in the maps. God gave us free will. He will love you as he wants you to love yourself and others. You have been given quite a gift with your music. You can take pride in that.

As far as Rent I have never seen it. I would love to see it! Those lyrics are certainly words to live by. That’s what has helped me the most. Learning that the past is gone and tomorrow isn’t promised so live in the now and don’t stress over things that haven’t come yet. I’m glad you have that. It helps so much. One step at a time. One day at a time. Obviously working towards goals but living in the now.

God bless you!