Refuses Medication

[Lawrence54]

Hi My wife has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and is suffering every day.

She refuses to take any medication. I don't know what to do? I don't think she will get better with out it. This has been going on for 9 months.

[Clarebear86]

Hi, I’m so sorry to hear this, as I struggled with the thought of taking medication. I can now say it was probably one of the better decisions I did make to start taking it. Unfortunately you cannot force her to take it, it has to be right for her and her decision.

[Lawrence54 in reply to Clarebear86]

Thank you for replying to me. I will not try to force her to take meds. I just hate seeing her suffer.

[Clarebear86 in reply to Lawrence54]

It’s ok. Do you know why she’s refusing to take them?

[Simonn]

I felt embarrassd that i need meds my dr said if your asthmatic youd use a pump to help whats the difference. You have a broken leg you use a crutch. Maybe she feels this way. Hope you can help her see that they can be a way to help out of the darkness

[blackcat64013]

Hi Lawrence 54,

Life for you must be very difficult at the moment.

Psychology Today has written an excellent article on the question you have asked.

The article begins "When someone you love refuses to get professional treatment for their mood disorder such as depression puts you as a family member in a very uncomfortable and difficult position. You care for the person, can see that he or she needs help, and feel powerless to just stand by. It’s a time when you cannot force treatment if he is over age 18 unless he is at risk of harming himself or someone else, or shows signs of psychotic thinking, which is not very common."

psychologytoday.com/blog/vi...

Dr. Dohrenwend, assistant program director and director of behavioral medicine for the Internal Medicine Residency Program at McLaren Regional Medical Center in Flint, Mich. has written an excellent article from the doctor's point of view.

You can find it at aafp.org/fpm/2009/0500/p15....

I hope there is a breakthrough soon for you and your wife

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

I’m so sorry to hear that. I suffer with anxiety and depression. I take medicine but no 2 people are alike. She is already one step ahead because she has you. Have you ever considered buying her some books or literature. There is a book by Claire Weekes everyone raves about. Do you think she would agree to counseling? Meds are like a bandaid while therapy can help you get to the root of the problem, recognize triggers, develop coping skills and relaxation techniques. There are pros and cons to medicine. It isn’t for me to choose for someone else but it has helped me significantly. It allows you to be calm enough to do therapy and learn to cope.

On the flip side how are you doing? I know how hard this must be on you. Try to take some time for yourself but not too much. Let her know you are there and she is not alone. Offer to go for a walk with her. Often when we are suffering we feel alone. Exercise is the best treatment for mental health issues. Again share literature, recommend counseling and maybe suggest she sign up here. It is very therapeutic. I commend you for hanging in there. We’re here for you and her!

[pinnk812]

Is there a specific reason in why she refuses to take any medication?

Coming from someone who didn’t want to take medication either but at my last resort I had enough of my anxiety. I was at the point where I couldnt even leave my house for three months 🙁

I have been taking zoloft for three years and I wanna say it’s helped me alot to control myself when I panic. I worked a couple of jobs, began college, traveled multiple times, hanged out with friends. Things I’m sure I would have struggled with alone. The cons were I gained alot of weight, dry skin, I’m more exhausted and unmotivated. I’m forced to see a psychiatrist for the rest of my life every month to get a prescription just to be able to live a normal life and I’ve seen 8 I never get proper treatment. I honestly want to get off this pill but I’m stuck with it for now :/ I recently began having panic episodes but I knew that the medication wont always be effective the anxiety can still peak thru sadly. Despite all this I wont say it was the biggest mistake because when I really needed help it was there for me.

She can be scared too of leaving home and possibly really does want help but doesnt know how to say it. Talk with her n let her know that you are concerned. At the end of the day it is her decision if she wants to take medication or not. She can live a life with or without medication. But let me remind you having anxiety is a constant battle with the thoughts in our minds. Like I see people go to work like nothing get in their cars and off they go but for me omg it’s like I have to do things certain ways to avoid the possibility of an anxiety/panic attack. In the end all that planning is exhausting. Give her some time motivate her to exercise with you and eat healthy. It really helps. I hope all goes well with her. I know its hard to see her like that but have patience.

[Senator_McCat]

In her defense, the medication typically prescribed for anxiety and depression is TERRIBLE and the people who invented it need to work harder. That said there are tons of ways to work through mood issues without medieval meds: exercise, supplements such as tryptophan and l-thiamine, meditation, spending time with a pet, and talk therapy. After my cat died and a few other shitty things happened, I had what I believe was a nervous breakdown (dummy doctors of course refuse to use this term anymore but it totally fits what happened to me and had my GP used it with me, I would not have fallen victim to an even more moronic alternative physician who misdiagnosed me with Lyme disease). At any event, the terrible medication prescribed to me by my doctor was either addictive or it caused all kinds of lousy side effects. It was not for me, and so I discovered other ways of coping. Am I 100% back to normal? No. But I know that mainstream anxiety medication such as SSRIs or benzos or BuSpar was not the answer. Everyone is different though and for some amazing reason it works for some people (I am jealous of those types). Note I do take a small amount of aterax each night to help me sleep and that is sometimes given for anxiety. Maybe she would be up for that?

P.S. there is a test called Genesite that looks at one's genetics to determine the medication that will work the best. All SSRIs were highlighted in yellow for me. However BuSpar and Ativan were green and I still had problems with them so ...

[User1964]

Is your wife averse to the chemicals? Has she tried any natural remedies? Gaba is good for anxiety. My daughter won't take any pills either. I think people are afraid that they will become zombies or something. Ask your wife, "If you had a bacterial infection, would you refuse antibiotics?" Anxiety and depression are a disease. The chemicals in the brain are not working as they need to. Just because you cannot "see" the disease itself doesn't mean you don't have it. I hope she finds what will work for her.

[Senator_McCat in reply to User1964]

The difference is that with an infection, doctors can identify what area is infected and often the class of bacteria that is causing the problem. With anxiety, the so called experts can't tell you what chemical is responsible, or even if it's chemical as opposed to hormonal, and consequently they merely guess (they typically start with serotonin and move outward from there). It's total guesswork and the medicine can cause lousy side effects for some people and simply not work for others due to the complexity of the brain. Until scientists can get off their butts and come up with a precise way of diagnosing anxiety and determining what chemical is off through clinical tests that show the brain chemicals in action, anxiety will always be considered a mental health disorder, and not a disease even though in many cases it is just as, if not more, impairing.

[claire0410]

I truly feel for both of you. I am struggling with the issue of taking meds or not right now. I have only been dealing with this for about 5 to 6 months. I have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and see a psychologist who has helped me very much. I have times, maybe a month where it kind of takes a back seat and I feel pretty much back to myself. Then it hits again. I am getting to the point where I'm thinking if there is something out there that will keep it at bay, why am I not going for it. I'm assuming that she has seen a professional since she has been diagnosed. Have they recommended meds? One of the reasons that I have been resistant to meds is I almost feel that it would make me seem less of a person somehow - that I couldn't fight this alone. I am coming to the realization that I don't think I can beat this alone and I do need more help. I've done mediation, yoga, vitamins, etc. and it has helped at times, but it isn't enough. I am coming to believe that meds may be the next tool I need to add my box. I agree with User1964, something in our brains does not work the way it should - I was 60 when this all started and never had any problems before. I hope that if she doesn't feel better soon and has tried the non-med routes, that she will at least consider it a possible option. I know the horror stories out there about the different meds, but I have found out that there are a lot of people they have helped immensely.

[Want2BHappy3]

thats too bad, you have too do something since its been going on for so long...I take medication it has done wonders for me,. It's such a scary place at times you get so desperate to get out. This WILL take a toll on your marriage. Try calling 911 see what they can do? I had a brother who committed suiscide. Don't just ignore the situation, cause God forbid if she ends up like my brother...your going to feel SO guilty if it happens, knowing the situation. Guilt too is a strong thing to overcome. PLEASE HELP HER.