All done.

[mn15]

Sorry for yet another doom and gloom post.

So the numbness is truly there but now they slight panic of lack of structure and routine (because of no work) and knowing that my only point of contact and opportunity to talk and let some of it out is over a month away in my next doctors appointment. I have used today to really try and find the good. And re focus. I self harm it’s something, the only thing that works for me. And I have no issues with it. I know it’s not the norm or socially acceptable but I don’t care. But I have genuinely struggled to find positives. My children both chose to not be with me today but go to my mums house and they didn’t even want me to pick them up, instead asking for daddy to collect them and do bath time. I feel useless and unnecessary.

Although i can usually find some positives I’m am well and truly struggling.

[Hidden]

Hello, sorry you are feeling this way. You can always talk here. I don’t have anyone much to talk to but about the things I really want to talk about and finding time for therapy is next to impossible. This site has helped me a lot. What kind of self harm do you do? I do it slight too without meaning to. That is I scratch scabs and blemishes making them deeper and longer. I find I do it unconsciously especially when stressed. I had family and friends notice and tell me to stop but it’s like a compulsion I have to do it. I have a sore right dab in the middle of my forehead that’s been there almost a year bc I won’t let it heal. And make up makes it look worse. I can assure you that you are not useless and unnecessary. Kids just want daddy sometime.