So my fiance (ex) and I broke up three months ago. I have been posting about it on this forum. While I have gotten over it in (I think) a very healthy manner, I still have a burning question in my mind. I would like to ask you for your different opinions and experiences that maybe similar.
When I was with him, I was in a constant contradictory state. Loved him dearly one day and excitedly planned the future. The next moment, I could not stand him. I would pick on the tiniest flaws and fight. As the wedding drew closer, I could not stand him at all. I was so loyal to him but found myself wondering if I would meet someone I loved more.
I thought I was going through depression. However, once we broke up (I thought my world would shatter) I feel a great sense of relief. I am happier and healthier than I've ever been when I was with him. So now I am starting to wonder were my bouts of anger and sadness because of my depression or were they because of my relationship?
How could one claim to love someone, yet cannot stand the sound of their voice? How could one plan a wedding, while feeling like she hates the whole thing? (PS: I hated planning the wedding. My mum and my best friend was constantly worried why I am not excited as you would expect a bride-to-be to be!). How could one feel a general sense of loneliness after a breakup but not miss the ex at all?
I would really like to understand what I went through