Struggling

[Jaco2016]

Hi,

I usually find that I struggle with anxiety. This has improved with medication but lately finding myself feeling depressed. I feel overwhelmed, overworked (at a job I hate but I can’t leave because it pays my bills and I have 3 dependent kids who are the joys of my life but cost!), a wife who works PT but can’t work anymore due to health reasons. I’m at the max end of my pay in my industry but after paying bills we have very little that we can save for big purchases (car, vacation etc.) . I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this! I feel like a hamster running in a wheel and going nowhere financially or career wise. I was turned down at a dream job recently because I asked for too much pay (and while it was high per industry standards it was what I truly need to provide for my family). What do I do besides feel fricking stressed out and overworked ?!

Thanks!!!

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

Breathe! I know how that feels. I think life is a lot like a hamster wheel. It’s hard to tell you how to fix it. Only you know what it takes to take care of your family. If cuts can be made etc. I had to move to a very small house in the country near nothing just to make ends meet. You have to be happy though. A little anxiety is normal but you seem like you are struggling. Have you tried to talk to your doctor about it? It’s hard when you have children. That’s a huge commitment but such a blessing! It’s worth it but oh so hard. I was a single mom. I know how hard it can be. I was at the top pay where I worked. Then I became disabled and my pay was cut by half. We definitely had to make some big cuts. Somehow we made it work. I still don’t know how. Maybe you should talk to a financial planner. That sounded odd to me because I basically had no finances but they can help you in so many ways planning, budgeting etc. If you don’t take care of yourself you can’t take care of them. It’s important I never did and now I’m here. Luckily my son is grown. That helps for sure but not totally. He got help going to school after graduation but now he’s back home. It’s awesome but still stressful. I wish you the best!

[Jaco2016 in reply to Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

Thanks we will be meeting with my pastor to discuss our budget tomorrow .. he also does financial planning .

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell in reply to Jaco2016]

That’s perfect! That will help a great deal I’m sure. Tithing is also very good. I wondered when I have no money left how that was positive but God will always provide a way! God bless you!

[Rick1on1]

Hi,

You have a tough situation - I wish you much strength for the days ahead. However, don't forget the path you have traveled thus far. It was not easy either and you should not only congratulate yourself that you have made it but use it to find the courage to make the changes in your life style to ensure that your family remains to thrive under your guidance.

Here are a few tips I have learned about dealing with money and mental health issues:

1. You need to set boundaries - Start looking at what you are spending money and time on and evaluate the value it brings to your family.

2. Don't upset the "apple cart" by making sweeping changes - It takes time to change behaviors and attitudes. You meet less resistance by introducing small changes to your family structure and expenses.

3. Take time for yourself - A lot is riding on both your physical and mental health. If you don't look after yourself you will stop being able to provide for those most important to you.

I hope this helps but feel free to message me if you want to discuss any of this off-line.

Take care!

[Jaco2016 in reply to Rick1on1]

Thanks . I actually got called off my PRN job yesterday and though I’ll miss the $200 I would have received for that time it was well worth it as I got to spend the time outdoors and in nature ! To me it was worth it and much needed. Need to do it again soon!

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell in reply to Jaco2016]

Nature is such a blessing. I always loved fishing, camping, kayaking etc. Camping would be a great way to vacation without spending much money. That was what we did a lot when the boys were young. We’ve gone by ourselves too. My husband and I have just grown so far apart since the boys have grown we don’t do it together. I do live by the lake. It’s gourgeous and the fishing is good. Sometimes I just walk out and sit and admire Gods beauty all around me. It’s so encouraging.