Help..

[Rafi-]

So basically i forgot how it is to be normal... i dont know what's the normal state like i get scared that my heart isnt beating & i feel that fear growing within me everyday.... i dont how to breathe normally & if i did i would directly get scared from death. I think that im gona die ... that's a constant thought i have everyday i know i will but i think it will happen soon due to my own breathing... i dont know to fix it i get thoughts that to fix it i should stop breathing & start again but that bothers & scares me. Don't get me wrong i don't think about committing suicide ..death is too scary for me to do that anyway but i just don't understand how did i come to this point & to these denationalizing thoughts.. maybe it's because i love being a cinema director & always creating thoughts of my own but i should know better! I need help i know its all about selfchange but i just cant!

[Agora1]

Rafi- You are the director of your own life. And you can make your life anything you want. The word "can't" has first got to be removed. You can and you will make changes, that's what a director does

You haven't forgotten how to be normal. After all, what is normal? It's not a set pattern for all of us. We each have different kinds of lives. Being normal for most of us is having control over our lives. Making decisions that are good for us. If it doesn't work the first time, then "CUT" and repeat. Eventually you will get just want you want and it will be a "print" or whatever they say in director's lingo

Make it a great day!

[Rafi- in reply to Agora1]

This made me smile .. thank you so much really.

[Jason337]

Hi Rafi - I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I can relate to the fear of feeling like your heart is going to stop or worrying about every breath in and out. I experience the same fears as part of my anxiety. The way it was explained to me, and what I try to remember, is that our body and brain and nervous system and heart and lungs were all designed (or evolved, whatever fits your beliefs) to work perfectly without us thinking about it. Just think of all the heartbeats and breaths in and out that you took over the course of your life without thinking about it. Our bodies are amazing systems, more advanced than any computer or human developed machine. Your heart will continue to beat and your lungs will continue to expand and contract whether you think about it or not. Just like when you're asleep, your body's autonomic nervous system will handle these things and more for you automatically without you having to worry. You just need to trust it!

[Rafi- in reply to Jason337]

That's a very beautiful description. But i don't understand why my panic attack developed into this case! I mean it's irrational to think like this & i know that but i dont know how or why can't i change.I think it became a habit....What an irony... panic attack is all about irrational thinking.

[Jason337 in reply to Rafi-]

I can totally relate to your struggle. I think we're looking for a meaning in why we're having panic attacks - it's such a powerful emotional and physical response, that it's hard to accept that it's just an incorrectly timed biological response to danger that doesn't exist. If there were danger we'd be the safest ones, but since there's no danger we go searching for what could possibly be causing us to feel so strange. We make the mistake of looking inward and somehow concluding that the danger must be within our own body and mind and we must be having a heart attack, going crazy, or whatever else our imagination comes up with.

[Windy101]

I haven't felt "normal" in 40 years. My type of anxiety is different, but just as annoying and debilitating, and I've had to be tricky and persistent in managing it. It will be okay.

You can handle this, but you may need a team behind you of supportive people: a doctor, therapist, meds, support group, us? or whatever helps you.

You are not alone. So many here understand exactly what you're talking about. I am starting to think that anxiety IS normal. How can it affect so many people if it's not?

You will get through this and better times are ahead for you.