I cannot believe the day I've had today. My boyfriend and I, have a great relationship and have lived together for quite some time now. As recovered addicts, we support each other and have a deep understanding for the difficulties addiction can bring and are 9 times out of 10 able to confide in each other.
Unfortunately, a week ago, my boyfriend relapsed and when I got home from work late he was under the influence and I knew from the second I walked in the door. From the pinned out pupils, the bloodshot eyes, and heightened sex drive/confidence levels I knew something was wrong. After doing a no-no and snooping through my mans phone, what I had thought was true had been confirmed and he had used drugs. Hurt because he had lied to my face, and worried for his future, I have been being eaten alive by the anxiety this situation provoked.
Last night, I think he used again. So, I bought an at home drug test with a 12 panel screening and will endure the moment of truth when I arrive home from work. The stress of loving an addict is so immense, and the stress of the drugs being around is life threatening.
After previous events, the anxiety is debilitating. I have found my boyfriend unconscious, covered in vomit, and unfortunately even clinically dead. I have had to give him cpr, purchase narcan to keep in case of emergency, and pray to God he doesn't die when I leave the house again.
Please God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the Wisdom to know the difference.
Panic attacks and all that jazz
how can i confront him, what should i do and feel?
Learning about aniexty and depression
Can you withdraw from Clonazepam?
Struggling whether to celebrate nye with mom and sis or with my only friend left
