I dont wanna quit my job... - Anxiety and Depre...

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I dont wanna quit my job...

lilsaddude profile image
8 Replies

So I'm starting to have a problem at work. About a few months ago I started this new job working for a hospital. Before I was hired i was out of a job for about 6 months, give or take, because I was fired from my last job. At my last job I was actually really happy, the world was hard, the pay wasn't great but it was oddly satisfying and my coworkers were damn cool. it wasn't that many of us who worked on a nightly basis. All of us would always smoke and drink a little after work. it was a lot of fun. I also had a gf at the time who was in college at a top ranked school academically but we would smoke and drink together too and go out all the time with her friends which was cool.

now if I can be a tad narcissistic for a minute. some people would consider me handsome and I also enjoy going to the gym so I'm in really good shape. I attracted a lot of people at my time working there but no one ever crossed the line with me and allowed me to be myself. (while I did have a little social ineptitude back then it didn't my affect relationships with people.)

at my new job I feel so alienated. I work with a lot of older women who are very bold who will stare at me constantly and talk to each other about me, sometimes just in normal conversation which usually involves how sexy I am which makes me MAD uncomfortable.I'm also one of the youngest people there too. since I've been working here my social anxiety has gotten much worse so I have a hard time communicating these issues to them while being professional. its made me very reserved and not interact with anyone so i can get away from some of that stuff. a stark contrast from my last job

The money is pretty good but I'm not sure I can stay here. I don't really wanna get involved in trying to condemn anyone because I'm sure they don't mean any harm and no one has put there hands on me. I just feel stuck. I mean I even stopped getting haircuts so I could stop getting so much attention. I can't really say its helped.

I've become more withdrawn as a result of the last few months.

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lilsaddude profile image
lilsaddude
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8 Replies
gogogirl profile image
gogogirl

Well, you got another job after being fired from one- that's pretty good luck I would say. Most people do not have that luck. What kind of job is this anyway? Perhaps you could talk to HR before you make a drastic decision.

lilsaddude profile image
lilsaddude in reply to gogogirl

the problem is I don't want to have to talk to anyone about it. I don't like talking to people there as a whole.

gogogirl profile image
gogogirl in reply to lilsaddude

Well, unless you are a lone business owner- at any job one has to talk to people

Karmakat profile image
Karmakat

Ok that sucks...i feel for you...been there...i also was the youngest one at a job and worked with mostly married women and they were all jealous of me, and because i got attention from the men there...they hated me even more...i was even told by a friend there they were all gossiping about me stealing their husbands!! So what i did was pull them into my office one by one and confront them...i know you dont or cant do that...but if you can try do it with one there and they can be your ally and speak for you that may help.... all u need is one person to be on your side so to speak and you may even look forward to seeing them...is there no men there at all?? Be caredul in befriending one of these women sounds like they all have insecurity issues and may take it the wrong way...tread carefully with them.....also...i can tell you it will get better ...you are the new hot topic, once they get bored of you and see that their attention is going nowhere they will most likely leave you alone...you probably will still not totally ever love it there like at your old job, but in the mean time if you are unwilling to talk to anyone there aint alot you can do...but i can assure you, it will calm down...in the mean time can you look for another position??

Also, do not think that saying you are handsome etc is being narcissitic...it is not..it is just the way it is...you are good looking..nothing wrong with saying it...at all..embrace it!! ...trust me from your post you are not a narcissist..i know a few...

JoseLuis25 profile image
JoseLuis25

I feel your pain my bro. I feel social awkward at times too so your not alone. I'm a firm believer of using your assets... so if your good looking then let that work for you. keep it professional though. my situation is a little different because i liked going to work and hanging with my co workers/ friends and now they sent me home Abbott 3-4 months ago. nite I don't go anywhere or see anyone. many people say I'm lucky because I get to stay home burr that makes me really lonely. work through it... and consider me a friend.

Windy101 profile image
Windy101

With what you're describing, you have every right to go to HR and complain about sexual harrassmnent. You should be able to go to work without that kind of thing happening - it's very unprofessional, plus there are laws against it. But it you don't want to do that, my next suggestion would be to look for another job while keeping this one. Knowing that you're doing something about it will probably help you feel better. Try to look at it as a temp job and even if no one else is, be professional until you get out of there. Sending you all the best!

Shesbutwee profile image
Shesbutwee

I'm the oldest here. I've worked with some very attractive younger guys. Just try talking to them . You'll find that you have way more in common than you think!! One in particular became a very good friend. He was so nervous because it was just him & I working at night. We talked about music & eventually everything!!! Ignore what you think they're saying & just think of them as people

That is sexual harassment. If you did that to a woman you would be fired and possibly have criminal charges brought against you. Talk to your manager. Don’t down play yourself to stop their behavior. Stand tall, ignore them and do your job. Knowing mei would end up making a rude comment if that happened to me about what you could do to them or shut them up with. Maybe not but I tend to be tougher around strangers and not take it. I worked in a hospital for 14 years. Woman talk about hot guys. It’s what we do. They should not however let you hear it although some of the nurses and I used to comment on some of the sexy doctors and I’m sure they knew it. Times were a little different then. Talk to your boss. You don’t have to give names. It may be time for some sensitivity training.

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