I don't know where else to go

[Lostinwondeelan]

Hi! I'm 21 years old and I am not really sure what is wrong with me. I live in the southern part of the United States and my parents don't believe in mental disease so I've never received help for all the things that I have struggled with, I have been struggling since I was in middle school and has just recently been feeling so scared and alone and I need help but I can't afford healthcare and also I'm terrified of going and talking to a doctor. I don't know what I hope to gain from this group but I need someone to talk to

[Z239]

Hai! I'm 23 years old and I I've been trying to get mental therapy since last week. I stopped mental therapy around senior year of third High School. So I felt lost... I seeked so much from other people and went down spiral a lot. I still think I'm in it.

I do have a job but there were times I wanted to quit. Like I'm close to better days and hours so I can save money to not live with my family... But that's like way in the future.

I'm worried about so much stuff... Sorry if you needed someone to help you out.

[Lostinwondeelan in reply to Z239]

Hi! I have a full time job my family kicked me out so I have no choice but to work full time or be homeless. I am constantly stressed and I ruin almost every relationship I have bcz I need so much emotional support that it is draining I am just tired of feeling like a burden to everyone so I just don't talk to anyone anymore.

[Z239 in reply to Lostinwondeelan]

I only have part time. I'm stuck with Mt family again. I was with roommates but didn't have a job in college. I got a job after I dropped out of second college.

I felt like I didn't know what to do for my life. I still don't.

Like I had so many times that I called in just because I didn't feel well. Got fired here and there. Current job... I've called in... So to get rid of occurrences I gotta keep going to work. And I'm kinda free to talk to my boss that I trust more than other ones... But I still need mental therapist. It's gonna cost money tho. But they haven't called me back if they got someone for me.

Im also gonna switch to another position in current job place since I'm in overnight and I just wanna have a better routine.

Like I was kinda fine last year but when I got a boyfriend this year in January.... I am trying me hardest to at least walk outside with him and when he drops me off before he goes to work. I have quit walking a lot.. Like this week it's gonna rain for two days and I know I get sick helluh so I'm like... No.

Sorry if I'm hard to understand. I'm literally spilling out my mind.

I try and try.. I just feel like a failure even tho I was told I do really great at work...other times I'm slow so...

Sorry I'm being a downer..

[Lostinwondeelan in reply to Z239]

Oh it's so okay sometimes the best thing to do it get it all out that's kinda why I joined this. I'm not comfortable talking to a lot of people and it's easier to tell a stranger about it than someone who I know. I'm glad you are getting help. I've been through a lot without ever have someone emotionally support me and I easily attach to people who do but sometimes it's just a bad thing because I emotionally drain them because I'm constantly going into states of extreme anxiety and or depression. I really would love to get help but I CANNOT afford it I pay for all of my bills and support myself while trying to complete online classes I get so overwhelmed I quit going to school about a year ago.

[Z239 in reply to Lostinwondeelan]

Yeah I joined trying to find someone who has similar stuff as me here.

I got recommended to this from crisis hotline. I got the text thing from snapchat. I always messaged them. A few helped out but others no...

Now I just blog post on Medium about what's up with me. Even though Medium is mostly for people teaching others things.

Me, I just say things like "I am this... This is what up..."

I'm like behind rent.. But I have paid back my step dad 215, 350, 350 this month. I don't have much... Left.. But I wanna get out of debt with him.

Also doing student loan stuff. My mom is bugging me about what she's still getting calls. I told her they will stop April 8. And for 60 days or something I just need to send stuff to the student services and then every year tell them stuff and also pay 99 a year.

I'm drowning in money right now.. Not in good way. I still haven't gotten a call for mental therapist yet.

I do have new position in a few weeks for day shift. Hopefully 8 hours. Close to fulltime but not really.

I'm legit trying to just live somewhere else so I'm not provided food and stuff from my family. I feel guilty of these things.

I would like to talk in message? If that's ok

[Agora1]

Hi Lostinwondeelan, we may not be doctors or therapists, but our responses come from our own experiences with anxiety and it's issues. You've found a wonderful support group of men and women of all ages who support each other with care and understanding. I'm glad you found us. There is always someone on 24/7 waiting to listen and talk with you. Life can get overwhelming at times, this is when it is nice to have a safe place to come to. Welcome! xx