Rock Bottom?

[Mjshells]

Sometimes its so hard to believe God has a plan for all of us, my life never seems to have a "bright side" just a 'dark side' and a 'darker side'. Really, I'm lost and broken. I really believe I'm just a mistake, set up for failure from the beginning. Just constantly getting mentally beat down every single day...

I wonder where my "rock bottom" is. Have I reached it yet? Will I ever? Do I even have one, or will it just keep getting worse with each day? I feel so empty and alone every single day. It's amazing how much just being or feeling wanted and/or needed can change someones day and/or life.

[claire0410]

I'm so sorry you feel so alone. All of us who use this forum need you and want you! Knowing others share your pain and very often feel the same way should give you some comfort. You are not alone in this journey and I wish nothing but the best for you. I truly hope that you are seeking help and find someone to talk to that will help you ease your pain. I am on my own journey to find some kind of peace and often feel that it is hopeless, but I keep on going. Some days are better than others, but the low ones are very painful.

[Lostjoy]

So sorry.. I feel this same way most of the time lately. I'm so angry that I don't have control of my mind. The anxiety ends up controlling a lot of my days.

Keep posting and talking here when you are feeling bad. There are so many of us here who need each other for support.

[Hidden]

to be honest i am not sure talking or referring to religion is allowed on here

however we are all here for you, we may feel alone in our own little world but there will always be someone there for you

[mysmugcat]

When you say rock bottom, I wondered if you meant from drugs or in general/depression? I can relate to both. I have had numerous rubbish things happen to me let me tell you from a child. I can have a victim mentality, do you? I am trying not to. Small steps. I want some enjoyment from life. I will keep on trying. My meds had to be upped and they help a bit. Things are still far from perfect.

[Hidden in reply to mysmugcat]

I ask myself each and every day will life ever be perfect ?

[Mjshells in reply to mysmugcat]

I kind of meant both, but more so mental illness issues. I have no priblen admiting that my own mistakes are why i am the way i am and where i am in life, i dont really have the 'victim mentality'. I had always used pills in the past, OD'd on xanax a while back got clean then couple years later i went out of control with painkillers. They pretty much consumed me, I was spending over $15k a month on them for about 2 years. Although I've been off painkills and definitely no benzos for a few years now, things are actually worse than when i was using, but my take on that is back then i didnt deal with any of my problems or i had drugs to get through it and now that i am pretty much clean i am stuck trying to cope with everything and have no coping skills, which makes it seem so rough. I can tell my addiction just jumps from one to the next and with that much opiate use for that long it has 'reprogrammed' how my brain actually works plus no coping skills makes for a rough situation. I have absolutely no self esteem no self confidence which ties into my extreme social anxiety as well as agoraphobia. Some days it just feels like im getting no where :/

[Mjshells in reply to mysmugcat]

I kind of meant both, but more so mental illness issues. I have no priblen admiting that my own mistakes are why i am the way i am and where i am in life, i dont really have the 'victim mentality'. I had always used pills in the past, OD'd on xanax a while back got clean then couple years later i went out of control with painkillers. They pretty much consumed me, I was spending over $15k a month on them for about 2 years. Although I've been off painkills and definitely no benzos for a few years now, things are actually worse than when i was using, but my take on that is back then i didnt deal with any of my problems or i had drugs to get through it and now that i am pretty much clean i am stuck trying to cope with everything and have no coping skills, which makes it seem so rough. I can tell my addiction just jumps from one to the next and with that much opiate use for that long it has 'reprogrammed' how my brain actually works plus no coping skills makes for a rough situation. I have absolutely no self esteem no self confidence which ties into my extreme social anxiety as well as agoraphobia. Some days it just feels like im getting no where :/