Hi, i m new here and recent events brought me here. I have been trying hard to forget my past but people keep doing things that bring back those painful memories. Once they are brought up, i feel anxious, sick to my stomach, unable to connect as if everyone misunderstands me. Result; i try to distance myself further. Feels like everyone around me is only there to hurt me. When these thoughts and nightmares becomes unbearable... all i can wish for is to hurt myself or do something and put an end to this pain and suffering. I had councelling before so understand this much that this is not the answer. So someone just help me please!...

9 Replies

  • Please keep listening to your counselor. I know it must be painful to have such unbearable nightmares, but maybe facing whatever is in your subconscious will relieve the lack of control you feel in your dreams and around others when they bring things up. Your past is your past, now you can take control and observe how you are feeling inside when you do get triggered instead of feeling so burdened. I myself have nightmares. They are either steming from what I feel emotionally or ( according to what I believe be demonically/ spirituality influenced because of my emotion wound etc...) Sometimes they will come up but understanding and knowing you're not alone helps.

  • My councelling ended two years ago that was after all that happened. Now i m in different state and do not know how to reach them back. Dont even know if they are still there. All that remains is what they taught me back then.

  • I wish I had the perfect words to say, but I am in your shoes. I'm looking for someone to say perfect things to me to make not feel so alone. Sounds like you have a touch of ptsd as well. The way you speak of distancing and everyone hurting you, I know what you mean. And the wanting to hurt yourself, I get that too. I don't want to die, but when people don't understand me and stressful situations don't stop, I want to cut. And I don't do it obviously, and it is something I haven't done in so long. I am 33 and my life has been one snowball of shit after the other and I can't cope. I never learned really good coping skills. ReAding your post made me cry just a little bit bc it sounds like how I feel. I have done the counseling thing too and I'm sick of it. I am new here too, and I'm looking for the same thing you are - a way to survive with this mental mess that is my brain.

    I have ptsd from something that happened to my daughter and to myself, I don't trust, I'm scared of so many things and anxiety rips my stomach apart on a daily basis. I know I haven't given you any answers, but at least we both know we really aren't alone. Because I'm tired of feeling like no one gets me. And depression and anxiety are so real and people that don't suffer, don't even know. Maybe we can eventually just help each other by knowing the other is out there. Everyone is so different and their lives have been so different that I know my mentality will be different than your, however, everything you said spoke to me on a very personal level. I feel like I'm in my own private hell.

  • Considering what you said, right now i would rather talk to people who understands than those near me who doesnt understand. If you permit, i m all ears to try work our way out from our problems.

  • I understand how your feelings! I also get night terrors! They make me go to a dark place psychologically too! I wish I knew how to help you but I haven't figured out how to help me yet either! I really hope for peace for you soon!

  • Thank you. I would try anything at this point that might help and would add that i like Medge's idea that we can try to talk and maybe help each other out.

  • You have to keep seeking help and take all negative people out of your life. Focus on the people thats postive around you. I know easy said then done .

  • You are right about the part easier said than done. As for negative people in my life, cannot just get ride of them if they are family or even friends. Friends can be distanced with but for family... it doesnt really give you that option. Positive people are there but then again i fear if i get too close they will see that something is hurting me and then they will worry too much.

    I m still not ready to pour my heart out yet, maybe i never will. But i do try as best i can as that is all i can do.

  • I understand stand ... and yes

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