My anxiety story

[Nosce_te_ipsum]

Hi everyone!

I want to share my story with you all and maybe get some advice. Since I was a kid I´ve always struggled with my self confidence. I would always get extremely nervous before an exam or the first day at school. I used to had nausea when I got nervous. Anyways I never realised that I had an anxious profile until now. My father suffered from depression and anxiety all his life but we never really knew it so I believe it runs in the familly. Besides that I had a pretty normal childhood and teenage life. I went to University and studied architecture and started living on my own. It was a very difficult carreer and I struggled a lot through it. I had a girlfriend since I started my studies and we got very close. In 2010 my mother was diagnosed with colon cancer. She got it removed and got quimo and radiotherapy. It was very hard to see her suffering through all the process. In 2011 My father went to the hospital to get his gallbladder removed but due to a medical malpractice he got his intestin pierced and died after a month in the intensive care unit. In 2012 I got diagnosed from testicular cancer. I got my testicle removed and got 3 sessions of quimo. In 2014 my long time girlfriend cheated on me an we broke up. Shortly after the break up I experienced a nervous breakdown. I left my job and went living with my mother for a couple of months. I went to a psychiatrist and I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and panic attacks. I took Lexapro for almost 6 months. I started to read about philosophy and learning about buddhism ans taoism. I started meditating too and my health improved a lot. I stopped taking lexapro in january 2016. I was in good shape that year but something kept bothering me: I kept waking up at night with my heart rushing. Everytime I fell asleep I had this horrible sensation and I had it many times in one night. As a result I started fearing sleep and I also started to develop insomnia. This february I suffered from an anxiety relapse due to the little sleep I was having and my doctor gave me lexapro again and 25 mg of quetiapine for my insomnia. I believe I have a deep trauma I haven´t discovered or faced yet. I heard psychological hypnosis works very well in this kind of situations. What do you think? I'm sleeping quite well right now but I'm afraid I will start having this sleep problems again once I stop taking medications...

[gerg]

Some of us will need to take medication forever. It’s OK. I mess up when I go off of my meds. I, like many, don’t like the whole medication regiment. I am now committed to focusing on the change that I need, rather than worrying about my medication. Everything that happened in your life is what made you be you. The bad things help us see the good. No matter how things go a perspective can be found to see them in a way that serves us. You have survived a lot and that’s a good thing.